this dream.

Published November 20, 2009 by crystalights



i’m here bcause i need to read somethng bfore i go to sleep.


owh yeah, my friend’s wedding invitation arrived [even before i got home]. it was a dark coloured card with white ribbons. and matte gold writings on white paper inside.


these couple of days was quite a passing whirlwind. haha. a rather enjoyable whirlwind, i guess.


we celebrated my lil brothers’ birthday.

we bought takeaways and a pretty fruity cake, but then by the time we finished eating the meal we were too full for the cake.

i was like : let’s blow the candles and sing first.

after  the whole candle blowing and singing i jst said : we’ll jst eat this tomorrow, okay? and covered it with the box and put it inside the fridge.




my project trip tomorrow is postponed to next week.


*is perplexed*


*was worried. now worries a little more*


you know, when i worry about somethng, it’s usually with reason.

and usually my reasons were never wrong.


i may be a constant worrywart and worry all the time.

but i have my reasons and in a lot of instances, they are reason enough and they are true.

they are significant.

i don’t crap with my words.


i think i can respect what people believe in.

even though i may not know as much.


and if it’s a big deal then it is a BIG deal.



and the other day.




a few days ago when i came back, i spoke about my plans.

you see, that’s the thing.

they’re my plans.

i wanna do what i wanna do – at my own pace.


and then suddenly it’s your plans.

and your dreams.

your BIG dreams.


i don’t dare to dream BIG.

if it doesn’t come true my heart can’t take it.


you have to undrstand that

i can’t follow your dreams

i can’t just go along with it like i always do


i’m tired

of being old enough to decide but still

unable to decide


because of evrythng

because of your dreams and your expectations


because i can’t.



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