i’m here bcause i need to read somethng bfore i go to sleep.
owh yeah, my friend’s wedding invitation arrived [even before i got home]. it was a dark coloured card with white ribbons. and matte gold writings on white paper inside.
these couple of days was quite a passing whirlwind. haha. a rather enjoyable whirlwind, i guess.
we celebrated my lil brothers’ birthday.
we bought takeaways and a pretty fruity cake, but then by the time we finished eating the meal we were too full for the cake.
i was like : let’s blow the candles and sing first.
after the whole candle blowing and singing i jst said : we’ll jst eat this tomorrow, okay? and covered it with the box and put it inside the fridge.
my project trip tomorrow is postponed to next week.
*was worried. now worries a little more*
you know, when i worry about somethng, it’s usually with reason.
and usually my reasons were never wrong.
i may be a constant worrywart and worry all the time.
but i have my reasons and in a lot of instances, they are reason enough and they are true.
they are significant.
i don’t crap with my words.
i think i can respect what people believe in.
even though i may not know as much.
and if it’s a big deal then it is a BIG deal.
and the other day.
a few days ago when i came back, i spoke about my plans.
you see, that’s the thing.
they’re my plans.
i wanna do what i wanna do – at my own pace.
and then suddenly it’s your plans.
and your dreams.
your BIG dreams.
i don’t dare to dream BIG.
if it doesn’t come true my heart can’t take it.
you have to undrstand that
i can’t follow your dreams
i can’t just go along with it like i always do
of being old enough to decide but still
unable to decide
because of evrythng
because of your dreams and your expectations
because i can’t.