tak tersisa untuk diriku
habis semua rasa di dada
selamat tinggal kisah tak berhujung
kini ku kan berhenti berharap
i have my tears to accompany me all the way home.
if i can call this a home.
home is where the heart is.
but my heart is not here.
i am tired of everything.
just when i thought that i could finally breathe, life comes and took the air out of me.
is this what i am?
the living undead?
sbb tu la org tak nk bukak pc.
tak nak blog pn mlm ni.
atau chck ape2.
because evrerything just drains the life out of me.
so td mntak tlg la someone else check kan.
tpi msg2 tk rspond plak.
time2 mcm ni la semua m.i.a.
cube klw aku yg m.i.a.
msti kene berbakul2 punye la.
evrything is always my fault.
it is my fault that my life is like this
what can i do?
this is something i have to live with.
even if it means i’m spending the last night of 2009 crying my hearts out.
hopefully it’s enough to make me sleep.
because everything feels a little bit too much for me to bear right at this moment.
and i feel like i might jst be losing it.
mcmane nk tido
dlm hati rsaukan hari esok
dan hari-hari yg seterusnya
it’s not possible for me
not to care
maybe it’s jst that i
am not a good person.
don’t have a good heart.
that’s why my heart can’t warn me enough before something happens.
and what more at a time like this
when i thought that i could spend the last few hours of 2009 in peace.
i know that this too will pass
but somehow i just can’t seem to let this go
you can’t heal me
and my pain.
no one can.
no one would.
no one will ever be.
i don’t think i believe in people as much as i believe in inanimate objects with no soul.
because no soul could heal me.
not unless you’ve been where i’ve been and not feel what i feel.
no thanks for the almost convincing distraction.
life is for the living
even if it’s jst the living undead.