i live in the present.
i live in the past.
i live on the little things that don’t exactly last.
but that is life, and life doesn’t last.
of that, i’m certain.
so i try to keep moving
in order to know what it wouldn’t be like if i stay.
because staying means living with it.
because staying isn’t half as bad, if you’re not open and vulnerable.
but you’re not unopen and you’re not invulnerable.
no matter how far i would always look back
looking back to help me look forward.
but i can’t say that i’d want to go back.
right now everything seems to be too much to ask for.
and the bittersweetness of it all
has never been less bitter.
in the aftertaste
what i want is sweetness without bitterness.
without having to wonder if i’ll be fine that way.
without staring through the gaps and wondering if it’d be different.
without thinking tomorrow at this time
would these gaps disappear
or would they not.
would they leave you feeling less empty?
or would you leave them feeling unfulfilled?
is it just another double-edged sword
or is it just your heart spinning out of sorts?