we live.

Published April 16, 2010 by crystalights

 

how i vent:

  1. very loud music. regardless of genre/artiste/era.
  2. on my own.
  3. internal soundless monologue.
  4. teardrops on my bed.

.

blurred in my memories

the number of tears i’ve cried (my heart will dry)

are countless like the stars

.

it’s my phone inbox.

there were messages for the past 2 to 3 years back.

and i don’t know why i felt so weird when i remember being a couple of years younger and stupider (but happier).

but as time passes you can’t have the same things forever.

we live through our pain

and we move on.

.

so, yes. i hate my phone inbox.

but i can only hope that one day i can press that button that says “delete all messages” and really delete the past from my history.

because right now at this very moment

i don’t think i can.

so let me have this.

let me have this chance to wallow

’cause this hurts deeper than i thought it did

it has not healed with time

it just shut down my spine

i’m looking forward to dissappear soon.

please don’t stop yourself from leaving

all because of me.

please don’t let me be the one to hold you back from leaving

because everybody leaves

and i’ll always be the one left behind.

and no matter how much it kills me i will not make anyone stay

i will not allow myself to become the reason why anybody wasn’t where they wanted to be.

i will not keep you here just for me

i can’t be that girl who’s honest and truthful and asks for that one thing that she’s denied of

so i’ll be the girl who lies and says nothing of what she wishes for in the depths of her heart

:

:

S T A Y.     H E R E .    W I T H    M E. 

:

:

every single teardrops for one single thing.

.

.

:

.

.

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