*attempting to live in the present*
the thing is that i am more worried about how to finish my thesis corrections and binding it into hardcovers within two weeks than actually finding out about how much marks i got for the thesis itself.
isn’t that strange?
don’t i care about my grades?
what is happening here?
does this show that i am only concerned in getting it done and over with so that i can just move on to the next thing and put this degree behind me?
what is happening ay.
i think it’s just that i’ve lost faith in my dream grade for a FY project.
i stopped dreaming of it.
i have come to terms with the reality of this project story.
it wouldn’t be like how i’ve dreamed it to be.
i like my project though. even though it wasn’t that big. or powerful. or magnificent and unbeatable.
it wasn’t that great. or amazing.
it wasn’t even wonderful or remarkable.
but it is my brainchild. my baby heart. (haha).
my sweat and tears. my time with the children. my memory.
my carriage to the ball.
the fries to my chicken chop.
the sambal to my nasi lemak.
the dolphin to my junsu.
the chorus to my destiny.
i like it because before i started it i’ve always said that i wanted to do something close to my heart.
water is close to my heart.
children is close to my heart.
the concept of intelligence is close to my heart brain.
hence the project came into view.
and the rest is history (in the making).
so as tomorrow comes
how will the ending be?
what will i end up with and how?
what will the (thesis) verdict be?
tomorrow feels a bit too far but too soon in a glance.