i wanna go out all day and then at the end of it to be able to just smile and say:
“i had a great time today.”
and really mean it from my deepest hearts.
i was 19 the last time i said that
but i didn’t really mean it at that time.
it was something that came out because i didn’t really have a great time
and i was feeling cold and awkward
at that time as i stepped on the elevator i was thinking:
“i wished it was better”.
the weird thing was that
it meant more to me than to the person i was with.
i was young at that time and no one told me to not wear your heart on your sleeve so much.
no one told me that not everything is as it seems.
no one told me that life is but a dream.
so things happened
and i lost a friend.
everytime i think about it i just know
that it was just me being young and foolish and so trusting. so naive thinking that i could take on anything and face anyone
there was nothing there
but i can’t help feeling like i’ve always been on the losing end
no matter what the circumstances are.
i want to be a hero.
not another damsel in distress disguised as the heroine.
i don’t want to be saved.
i just want to be the one to save myself. and the people that i wish to save.
i don’t wanna be
just another girl