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menjadi sebuah dilema
when i was a little girl growing up there was this one thing that lived in my thoughts.
it was one of those things that i wanted to be.
it slipped my mind for a while because growing up makes me feel like i’m just dreaming an unrealistic, ridiculous, unfathomable, almost impossible, wish.
i thought i got over it but then after a few years it came back inside my head.
when i think of what i wanted to do, that was it.
it was one of those things that i find myself keep going back to
because it makes me feel right. somehow.
i actually find myself trying to head towards it in one way or another
i have yet to arrive.
i’m not there yet.
and it feels a little too long
so here i find myself going back to this
“what can i do?”
i feel like i can do this.
what i need is
just one chance.
i’m just looking for one chance
but i guess life isn’t always full of chances
maybe that’s why i always have this little uncomfortable feeling whenever i look at people like her.
because if i was her
if i was that person
if i were you
holding the world right in my hands
the first thing i’d do is thank the stars above
if i had what you have
why would i feel discontented?
you have people who listens to you
who pays attention to your needs
who gives you whatever you wished for
and gives in to your whims and fancies any time any where
everywhere you go you don’t have to go through any trouble
people just follow you like your every word is the law.
there is so much that you can do with the things that you have
one person like you can make so much difference to several different people in a lifetime
you could reach out and do anything other than for your own personal gain
and people would gladly take your hand and cherish it
and appreciate every line of it.
with what you have, you could have done so much more.
sometimes i kinda wished you did.
so that i know that this kind of gift doesn’t just fall upon any random soul