you don’t know this

Published September 22, 2010 by crystalights


waktu bergulir lambat

merantai langkah perjalanan kita

berjuta cerita terukir dalam

menjadi sebuah dilema


when i was a little girl growing up there was this one thing that lived in my thoughts.

it was one of those things that i wanted to be.

it slipped my mind for a while because growing up makes me feel like i’m just dreaming an unrealistic, ridiculous, unfathomable, almost impossible, wish.

i thought i got over it but then after a few years it came back inside my head.

when i think of what i wanted to do, that was it.

it was one of those things that i find myself keep going back to

because it makes me feel right. somehow.

i actually find myself trying to head towards it in one way or another

but still

i have yet to arrive.


i’m not there yet.

and it feels a little too long


so here i find myself going back to this

“what can i do?”


i feel like i can do this.

what i need is

just one chance.

i’m just looking for one chance

for me.


but i guess life isn’t always full of chances


maybe that’s why i always have this little uncomfortable feeling whenever i look at people like her.

because if i was her

if i was that person

if i were you

holding the world right in my hands

the first thing i’d do is thank the stars above


if i had what you have

why would i feel discontented?

you have people who listens to you

who pays attention to your needs

who gives you whatever you wished for

and gives in to your whims and fancies any time any where

everywhere you go you don’t have to go through any trouble

people just follow you like your every word is the law.


there is so much that you can do with the things that you have

one person like you can make so much difference to several different people in a lifetime

you could reach out and do anything other than for your own personal gain

and people would gladly take your hand and cherish it

and appreciate every line of it.


with what you have, you could have done so much more.


sometimes i kinda wished you did.


so that i know that this kind of gift doesn’t just fall upon any random soul



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