most of the time
when i talk to my mum,
i’m always right.
when i talk to my lil’ brothers,
i’m always right.
but when i talk to my lil’ sister,
i’m always wrong.
it’s not particularly disturbing for me (because i can live with people thinking that i’m wrong as long as i’m not really wrong), but sometimes i have these afterthoughts about how i should sharpen up my argumentative skills.
with my mum it doesn’t take much from me to convince her of my personal thoughts and opinions.
my lil’ brothers kinda just follow whatever i say as if i knew everything.
but on the other hand with my lil’ sister, the effect is quite the opposite.
it’s like every little thing is a test where i have to pass before she decides whether or not my words are believable.
because she somehow thinks that i am this sly, pessimistic, difficult and cynically suspecting person.
so if i say something is wrong with someone or something, she would probably say things like : “but you always say that about other people” or “but you always feel something’s wrong all the time”
and then i usually counter it by building up my case as effectively convincing as i can.
but now that i’ve been away from the outside world for so long i think i might have lost my touch
maybe i’m losing my word wit and my communicating capabilities
i don’t wanna believe it
because i believe that a few months of seclusion shouldn’t have altered anything that i already have.
i should be able to smoothly converse, right?
when i write i have time to collect my thoughts and carefully arrange them into words.
when i talk i don’t always have the time to do the same.
so i guess i don’t really talk that well when i’m put on a time restraint.
and that problem gets bigger when i’m dealing with a quick-witted fast talker.
like my lil’ sister.
it has to be convincing enough within that short period of time before she hangs up the phone.
i don’t think it was.
am i finally losing it?
i don’t quite know.