i was. surprised.
just a tiny bit happy, a lot confused, puzzled, alarmed, nervous, melancholic.
very worried if i lost my chances of knowing more about what i needed to know because i thought that everything should already be stated in the details, right? (MUST MUST MUST ASK LATER!)
i don’t know if i can do this. but i know that i can’t just not do this. there is a difference between doing what you want and doing what you have to do [quote: kim key!]. so yes i think i understand what he means when he said that.
that phonecall during my final year industrial attachment presentation day to my dad when i first really, completely told him of what i wanted to do. it was probably one of those emotionally driven decisions of my life.
i was standing in the laboratory building by the staircase looking out the balcony with a phone up my ear for about an hour. he was just bugging me to finish what i was doing first and only then can i really search for the what and where of my plans. i was probably just being emotionally insecure (or plain stupid) at that time to come up with something like this (i don’t quite know). heck, i don’t even know if i would make the same decision if i could turn back the hands of time. but for now i can’t say that i regret this (because then i’ll have to be real stupid).
several things in mind:
- help my mum with what she wants to do.
- travelling with my lil sister.
- perfecting the condition of our home.
i guess i am no longer full of words.
(is this closure. yet?)