this is believable, right?

Published October 21, 2010 by crystalights

 

wow.

i was. surprised.

(and thankful)

alhamdulillah.

.

feelings:

just a tiny bit happy, a lot confused, puzzled, alarmed, nervous, melancholic.

.

thoughts:

very worried if i lost my chances of knowing more about what i needed to know because i thought that everything should already be stated in the details, right? (MUST MUST MUST ASK LATER!)

.

personal thoughts:

i don’t know if i can do this. but i know that i can’t just not do this. there is a difference between doing what you want and doing what you have to do [quote: kim key!]. so yes i think i understand what he means when he said that.

.

flash backs:

that phonecall during my final year industrial attachment presentation day to my dad when i first really, completely told him of what i wanted to do. it was probably one of those emotionally driven decisions of my life.

i was standing in the laboratory building by the staircase looking out the balcony with a phone up my ear for about an hour. he was just bugging me to finish what i was doing first and only then can i really search for the what and where of my plans. i was probably just being emotionally insecure (or plain stupid) at that time to come up with something like this (i don’t quite know). heck, i don’t even know if i would make the same decision if i could turn back the hands of time. but for now i can’t say that i regret this (because then i’ll have to be real stupid).

.

several things in mind:

  1. help my mum with what she wants to do.
  2. travelling with my lil sister.
  3. perfecting the condition of our home.
  4. cry.

.

i guess i am no longer full of words.

so there

(is this closure. yet?)

.

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