“who you are is not where you’ve been”

Published November 9, 2010 by crystalights


i guess you really did it this time

lost yourself in your warpath

lost your balance on a tightrope

lost your mind tryin’ to get it back


wasn’t it easier in your lunchbox days?

always a bigger bed to crawl into

wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything?

and everybody believed in you?


i wished i knew if i am at the right place at the right time doing the right thing.


if life is a fair trade,

in exchange to not getting what i want, what will i get in return?

in exchange of not seeing what i should, what will i see in return?

in exchange of not knowing what i must know, what will i know in return?


the funny thing is that i believed that i did everything right.

i did what is expected of me.

i found what i should search for.

i completed what is entrusted to me.

i acquiesced with what is forbidden to me.

and i never really looked back again.


but still

what’s in it for me?

what about me?

what about what i want? what i need?


i guess somehow i understood izzie’s twisted request from a dying man like danny.

because sometimes,

you just wouldn’t, couldn’t, bring yourself to have it any other way.


even if you do,

can your heart take it?




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