triple birthdates’ birthday

Published November 19, 2010 by crystalights

 

 

i was never really a fan of huge parties.

i’m used to spending my birthday doing something totally unbirthday-related, like travelling on the road or simply being busy getting some things done.

but because this is my little brothers and my mom’s birthday all wrapped in one occassion, they have their circle of people which they tend to bring along.

and so inevitably,

people arrived.

.

we actually went birthday shopping.

the table was set.

and the cake was cut.

three birthdates of november in one day.

.

i practically ruined our shopping trip (because i didn’t realize that there is a shopping plan that i should be a part of)

it was my mistake

i am disgusted with myself.

even if i’m distracted, even if i don’t like big parties, i should have been more aware to other people’s wishes and needs.

thank god i didn’t ruin the whole birthday occasion.

but i kinda missed the candle-blowing and singing part.

.

i hate that i have to leave tomorrow

just to attend sunday’s prep and rehearsal.

i hate that i have to attend sunday’s prep and rehearsal

just to be there on saturday’s convocation.

i hate that i have to attend saturday’s convocation

just to show that i have graduated.

.

i hate show and tell, and big parties, and my face on someone’s facebook.

i like privacy, and small intimate gatherings with people who are closest to me, and no one’s face on anybody’s facebook.

(but it’s facebook. people put their faces there).

tapi aku baru dpt tahu kita org perempuan tak boleh display muka on the internet. explanation dier ada pada org yg lebih tahu (aku baru tahu, i’m not sure how to explain it), but it’s like when you put gambar muka di web you are directly/indirectly allowing people to do anything with it

termasukla renung lame2, or ber*something*2 dgn gambar kita, or melakukan ape2 pun yg mengundang gelora p’rasaan dan perbuatan yg agak censored. bila letak gambar whole muka+diri kita di web, kita tak dpt kawal siape yg lihat, bhgn ape yg dilihat dan berape lame yg dilihat. kalau 1 org ader access pada gambar kita, mungkin org lain yg ader berdekatan/bersama dgn org tu pun dpt lihat. then bile yg lihat itu punyai gejolak rasa yg ter extreme secara tak langsung kita jugak menjadi pihak yg bersalah kerana menjadi punca gejolak rasa itu.

aku tahu aku bukan org yg pandai nak menyampaikannya dlm keadaan yg terbaik supaye semua org faham dan aku pun admit that aku memang guilty of doing the same thing in the past in my other web page tapi sekarang bile dah tahu aku rase mcm aku perlu beritahu dan kongsikan di sini, supaye org lain pulak dpt tahu.

this is not something yg aku beritahu mengikut suka akal sendiri, this is something that is passed on to me from someone yg lebih arif (setelah membuat rujukan tentang hal2 yg sebegini), to someone i know, and then to me.

i think the rest is up to you.

aku dah tuliskan di sini, sekurang2nya aku sudah pun menyampaikannya.

.

lastly,

happy birthday to my little brothers and my mom ^__^

.

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