one of those old sob stories

Published December 5, 2010 by crystalights

 

when my little sister told me of her plans (to not continue later on),

i said to her that it’s her decision for now. (we won’t know her decision for later).

it wasn’t because i felt that she was fickle-minded,

it’s just that i feel that not everyone would feel the same way about everything, every time.

case in example; me.

i felt like i know for sure what i wanted by the time i was in my final semester.

i even told my parents about it.

but now that i’m at this point of my life, i wasn’t sure if that was what i really wanted.

i can’t really back out, and my dad is someone who wouldn’t really tolerate such display of wimpiness (har har).

well the thing is that,

underneath all this pride i’ve always known that i have this inner wimp inside me.

like how i cried for the first 3 nights of my stay in the campus college.

(and that was after the orientation week).

during the orientation week, i cried when my shoes were accidentally switched with someone else’ (who coincidentally has the same name as me). those shoes are 2 sizes too small for my feet (imagine wearing a size 4 when you’re a 6).

 i cried at the stairs while talking on the phone because my new roomies/homies made me feel weird and uncomfortable.

through all those tears, i realized that the reasons for my crying are usually such trivial things which affect me more than other people who probably wouldn’t really mind.

i cry for such odd reasons.

i care when my place is too far away.

when my shoes hurt my feet.

when my surroundings feel strange.

i didn’t cry when i was stranded in a severely flooded town.

when i lost my way trying to get home.

when i didn’t have enough cash to eat.

.

what triggers my tears are my comfort factor. not my needs factor.

.

so i feel rather abnormal too. sometimes.

.

but abnormal things aside, i think everyone could change their mind in any instance or circumstances.

so i think that my little sister might change her mind.

maybe (?)

but even if she doesn’t it’s okay.

but if she does it’ll be even better.

because she deserves something like this too.

.

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