open. wide open.

Published January 7, 2011 by crystalights

suddenly this crossed my mind:

is it true that i am not as light and open as i was before?

but a long time has passed since then

and with age comes a different viewpoint and understanding.

if i am not someone who is as open and accepting as before,

at least i think that i don’t really turn them away or shut them down.

i listen.

i receive.

i acknowledge them.

i try not to pass judgement or point fingers.

i just don’t necessary like these things.

but i don’t judge. (at least while i am still conscious of my decisions).

and i think while it may seem like i’m not very open and light and accepting, i didn’t exactly show that i despise it or something.

i just go a bit expressionless.

so that the other party don’t feel offended or decide to up the ante and blow things out of proportion.

okay so maybe it’s the way my eyes change glances or the way i change my posture

but cut me some slack. it’s not like i’m screaming at the top of my lungs: “you stop this mess right now!”

at least i look at you as an adult and i treat you as a person.

how does that make me a narrow-minded and pessimistic and unreceptive person who sees the world in a dark light?

what is this Tron’s “The Grid” or something?


i have my own thoughts and views and we might not necessarily agree with each other’s POVs but at least i’m not the one who goes into attacking mode first, right?

i’m not out there to fight

(i’m not even really putting myself out there).

i’m just here.

and if our paths cross then why not we face it like mature young adults.


maybe it’s just a prideful girl thing

not that big of a deal.



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