tomorrow’s price and payment.

Published February 12, 2011 by crystalights

so the people that i was supposed to stay with (but suddenly cancelled) contacted their son+daughter-in-law

and their daughter-in-law contacted my parents’ friends

and then these friends informed my parents

and then i’m not sure what exactly is happening or is about to happen but

i’m supposed to contact them when i get there.

and i guess right now, for now, that’s the best that i can get to the possibility of not being homeless (although i can never be too sure about that).

i met those friends of my parents (the one who helped contact that family), and i can say that these friends are very nice and warm. they have this small, close-knit family and are rather affectionate with one another.

i looked at them and i thought: oh, so that is how it’s like to have a very affectionate family.

they don’t have everything, but half-an-hour at their home you kinda get this feeling of how they feel for each other and i guess that was something.

it was, a little heart-moving.

i thought it was kinda difficult for a person to show the ability to love, but what the heck, some people are very capable AND sincere. no questions asked, no prerequisite conditions, just honesty and a heart.

yes, some people do give a damn about each other. it’s just that i’m being exposed to the selfish ones too often that i become one myself (sometimes).

anyway, after the meet-up with these friends of my parents i felt like i can’t really entirely lay my verdict on the people who cancelled. maybe they have reasons (which i don’t understand) for cancelling my stay with them on such short notice. at least they managed to contact someone else from their family who contacted my parents’ friends who contacted my parents.

it’s a long story, but i don’t want to leave anything out.

i’m just a little unsure. confused. forlorn. about a lot of things.

and my thoughts are a mess and so writing them down is a process of sorting them out.

maybe i’m just dizzy because i felt something back then when i was snapped at in my own home but refusing to hide and cry because it’s not the right time to be defeated?

maybe i was starting to wish for things that i can’t have right now like a family/person who could understand?

i don’t know anymore.

.

i could try to be where they want me to be but at what price?

isn’t there always something to lose?

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