dear nana (7.3.2011).

Published March 7, 2011 by crystalights

dear nana,

a lot of things are happenning all at the same time

and i don’t know if i can do this.


i find myself reading the same lines over and over again

and not writing a word yet.

i wish that i don’t have to feel. anything.


i know that i can’t keep on being like this

and people like you are possibly going through something complicated too

but i don’t know

i feel like i’m here to find something

but i lost something else along the way even before i knew what i was looking for.



what i feel isn’t important.

even if i cry

i still have 3 papers to write.

i should just pull myself together and start writing.





3 comments on “dear nana (7.3.2011).

  • a lot of thyngs have been happening around here too..
    u have to focus..
    doa bnyak2..Allah lagi faham perasaan ko…

    because i can’t seem to figure it out..u’re just miss home, but i wonder which part of it are you missing..

    because this place just suck. alot

  • u know what..
    sometimes i wish i could just leave the country and get away from this place just like what u did..
    but then again, this is not about me does it..
    i always think that there’s a reason why u are there and i’m here though i’m the one who wanted to leave so much..
    maybe this God’s way of giving u a better life..
    u might be broken right now but there will always be something good along the way that you will get..
    i’m not a positive person, but i believe in God and since i have to be strong all the tyme, i believe that we have to atleast try and get everything work out eventhough we’re the people that have the abnormal family not to mention a series corrupted life..

    i have no one to come to, or to shield me from this tough world, not even a father that will come to my rescue, so i have to stop being vvulnerable..

    that goes for you too..

    • you have something else as a shield. but i don’t know if you know what you have.

      and god is always there. ever present. ever knowing. ever forever.

      maybe there is nothing normal about our family.

      but we’re not extremely corrupted or damaged (yet).

      we’re just..crumbling near the edges.

      we’re just..US.

      we’re just two people in the midst of a stormy reality.

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