dear nana (17.4.2011). South West Field Trip.

Published April 17, 2011 by crystalights

dear nana,

you speak my mind.

i think i am an attention whore, (at least to some extent).

guess what happened over the weekend?

i drew attention (like hell i did).

anyway,

this weekend was the weekend of that trip i told you about (baru smpai rumah about 2-3 hours ago, sgt penat aku ade a lot of things to do now so i’ll tell you those stories later).

aku pergi trip ni sbb it’s part of my class lesson (on field). kalau aku ponteng trip ni ibarat mcm ponteng class la, memangla takde ape2, tapi kire tak dpt pelajaran la.

so memang spjg 2-3 days ni bile turun je site/field/location, sume benda yg disampaikan mcm berkait dgn lesson ktorg.

it’s casual but a bit intense.

bas tu stakat lalu tepi ladang pun ader explanation kluar kat speaker, cerite pasal the land and development and all that jazz.

.

 

 

this is a part of the beach in Warrnambool. yg sketul tgh2 tu mcm pulau(?) a.k.a tanah tinggi tempat dier bela binatang2 yg dilindungi mcm penguin. tapi time ni penguin takde. penguin gi balik tempat lain sbb skarng musim migrating utk dorg.

.

nanti aku upload gamba lg (insyaAllah).

.

sbnrnye ader a few things jugak yg happen mase trip ni.

aku rase trip ni

mcm ujian tuhan utk aku la.

(wallahualam).

.

tak tahu la

tapi aku rase sgt

seperti diuji

sgt mencabar kesabaran aku.

.

wei,

about that home thingy

aku pun mcm ade derhake sikit la

(kau jgn jadi cam aku pulak)

kan aku cam dah snap kat ayah kan pas tu terus dier tak call lagi dah. (mak je yg s’skali call aku).

dlm Quran kata berbuat baik kepada ibu bapa, ckp “ah” pun tak boleh.

aku ni, dah la snap kat dier (sbb mase tu aku tgh bingit gile ader a lot of things going on tension+bengang+bangang skit) pas tu aku mcm dh ter tanggang sikit kot (sbb aku penat asyik kene make things perfect for him and fulfill what he wants all the time pas tu dier pulak mcm dh brape kali intercept ape yg aku communicate kn dgn mak)

pas tu aku mule la buat perangai emo aku, jawab mcm agak kasar mcm org terpakse je angkat telefon

pas tu i guess that was it

dier dah tak call dah. smpai skrg.

(aku dah agak dah. mse aku letak telefon tu aku dh rase mcm he won’t call again for a long time).

maybe bukan sume org boleh take what people do to them the things they do to others

(eleh, ntah2 dier tak call lg sbb dier memang malas nak call byk kali, bukan sbb aku jawab tlefon mcm tu. haha ntah2 aku je yg prasan)

now only mum calls me

i sent her a letter

she emailed me

so i emailed her back.

tapi ko ni mcm kes pelik pulak

jgnkan kater “ah”, kater “hello” pun mcm takder je ko ni

i’m not the only twisted one here, ko pun twisted jugak skali

maybe we just don’t quite have a place that we belong in

(yet)

if your dad decide to grow up one day

maybe he will understand

dlm dunia ni bukan semua benda akan jadi mcm yg kita nak

kdg2 kita rase benci tapi itula yg baik utk kita

kdg2 kita rase suke tapi itula yg buruk utk kita

kita ni takde ape2 pun

tak tahu ape2 pun, melainkan yg Allah izinkan utk kita ketahui

semua yg kita tahu adalah kerana Allah mengizinkan utk kita tahu

kalau Dia dah tetapkan sesuatu

takde siapa pun yg mampu ubah

ayah boleh rancang everything

tapi perancangan tuhan adalah mutlak

aku yg terumbang-ambing ni dpt teruskan hidup pun sbb tuhan mengizinkannya

so tempat aku sandarkan isi hati aku is pada tuhan

sbb dier je yg tahu aper yg aku rase dlm hati aku

aku tahu that i’m not always a good daughter

tapi aku kene jugak try (yes aku tahu)

i’ll have to figure that out soon

i took a few shots at fulfilling what he wants but it always feels like it’s not enough

but

doesn’t good daughters need good fathers (?)

maybe i’m not a good daughter

still sometimes, i wished i had a good father figure too.

ader few things that happened (during the trip) 

i want to cerite

but i have to do something else now,

nanti aku write again (insyaAllah).

(17.4.2011)

-me-

P/S: i’m busy have a few datelines to fulfill (don’t know if i can make it)

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