today i went to one of my usual assignment spots
i kinda finished my assignment (proposal) early and submitted it online today.
that was unexpected, since i was kinda researching, reading, blogging, emailing and writing a proposal all at the same time.
so i guess, starting tomorrow my cuti tinggal lg a few days (sbb dh few days spent on assignments). not sure where to go, but i kinda asked someone to come along with me to the museum or something.
aku still tgh serabot, but i have to try and clear my mind for a bit before i make any life-changing decisions.
i have other assignment spots too
or places where i don’t feel like communicating with anyone
all these places are not really open for public, kinda strictly for postgrad students only.
so it’s kinda allright when you want to find somewhere quiet and sit for hours reading or doing assignments or maybe just thinking about nothing at all.
it’s 24 hours access so just have to swipe/tap in and out with the student card.
good place to hide when you’re the only one studying this program in your circle of people.
bile kau habis exam nanti, what will you do?
don’t tell me you’re just gonna plunge into that short sem and study (again).
what is up with this family and studying (the past few days aku baru kene sound pasal sibuk dgn assignment).
biar aku recall skit ayat dier camni:
“(you ni) your world asyik revolve around assignment je” (dkt autumn gathering last weekend).
and also mse on the way balik, sambil org tu nak ambik gambar aku bukak buku & buat assignment dlm train dier pun ckp,
“you (‘re equal to) assignment. assignment (equals to) you”
pas tu ader org nampak aku tgh re-draft my 4th draft,
“my god, perfectionist (nyer) you ni”
and so on.
aku rase benda tu normal je.
apesal, freak sgt ke buat benda ulang2 smpai satisfied.
yg penting aku rase okay, baru la aku rela lepaskan dan hantar.
kalau aku sendiri pun feel like my work is like shit, camane aku nak rase rela hati hantar.
tu pun dh msuk 4 ke 5th draft pun aku still rase tak kena, still rase mcm patutnyer aku touch-up lagi baru hantar yg lg elok.
pas tu bile aku dlm process mengedit draft aku and org tanye aku “ni nadia buat ke..siape yg edit?”
pas tu aku ckp la (aku sendiri yg buat) aku sendiri yg edit.
pas tu reaction nyer cam agak terkejut pulak.
ye la hbis aku nak suruh siape edit?
aku dah laa susah nak suke2 hati bagi people put their hands on my work, ini kan pulak nk sruh org editkan utk aku. aku rase tu hal besar. kalau aku bagi org buat benda tu ibarat mcm aku serahkan kunci constantinople sblm muhammad al-fatih smpai.
it’s like a huge deal of trust, respect, and consideration on my part (and quite a change of principles).
so maybe i’m obsessive-compulsive or whatever
but so what?
my back hurts.
why do i find writing easier than talking (?) sometimes
i don’t quite know.
until next time,
(26.4.2011) part 2