ceritera seumur hayat

Published May 8, 2011 by crystalights

well it so happens that unimelb (a.k.a the university of melbourne), is in the middle of a  HIV vaccine project.

they won the US NIH contract, and other uni taking part in the project is ANU, UNSW, Uni of Newcastle and other (non-uni) parties.

currently the vaccine consisted of DNA vaccines along with fowlpox vaccines, to be administered around the same time for T cells stimulation.

well they’re about to start clinical trial already, in the upcoming 2nd year of the project.

project’s supposed to be for 4 years. if everything turns out perfectly the vaccine could be ready in 10 yrs.

.

well.

about 11 years ago, that was my (somewhat similar) dream.

i wanted to find a cure for cancer.

but look where i am now.

not splicing or streaking.

just typing.

(and thinking).

.

sometimes i wonder what really happened for me to get here.

but i know that this is what fate and destiny is.

and i have to learn to make something out of it

.

org kater, aper yg kiter dpt tu adalah yg terbaik yg kiter boleh dpt dlm wktu tu.

dlm waktu lingkungan umur mcm aku ni,

muhammad al-fatih dh pun mngetuai sbuah k’tnteraan m’nawan kota constantinople.

itulah org yg akhirnya memenuhi ramalan rasulullah.

.

kdg2 aku rase,

byk sgt yg aku dh bazirkan.

aku rase mcm byk yg aku spatutnyer dh buat, tapi tak jugak k’smpaian.

aku rase seumur hidup aku ni dh byk sgt lost on a lot of things

kenape aku tak bangun lebih awal?

kenape aku tak buat sesuatu dari mula2 aku kenal dunia?

kenape bukan aku yg buat semua yg aku baca dlm coretan2 pnciptaan sjrh2 ni?

kenape bukan aku yg tulis semua hasil kerja yg aku gunekan ni?

kenape aku hanya belajr hasil dari pelajaran org lain?

bila masanya org akan belajr dari hasil pembelajaran aku?

.

aku rase

mcm dh byk sgt yg terlepas

.

itula yg aku rase.

sbb tu aku tak kisah sgt pun nk talk about what i want to achieve when i talk to people

when people know me, and i know them, the common point of connection isn’t the things that i wish to achieve.

because i can’t really talk about it with my friends and acquaintances here in a way that they can comprehend.

aku punyer way of thinking pun smtimes people don’t get.

tgh b’ckp tibe2 diam sbb spaced out. pas tu org tgh in another conversation tibe2 talk about something else.

aku tahu smtimes i’m not that normal.

so i think kdg2 aku just stick to the normal range of acceptable answers

lagi senang

tak pyh explain about my life aspirations

bile org tanye: “mcmane you study eh?”

just jawab je: “first i have to be on my own.” or “i need music to study.”

yada yada yada. bla bla bla.

kan senang.

skrg ni sape je yg kisah psl pemikiran dan pandangan hidup kan.

so tak pyh cerite pjg2.

kalau org ckp benda yg tak kene ngn pendirian kita, s’lagi boleh elak then elak la.

.

kalau rase tak larat nk tahan, ckp sikit dulu, testing the water.

tgok camane.

kdg2 ada je mase2nyer aku saje je buat2 mcm blur. mcm tak tahu anything.

sbnrnyer aku tahu. dan aku faham.

aku saje test nk tgok the person’s stand on certain matter. or his/her POVs on life.

but i don’t think they really know that.

they probably thought it ws just another plain jane question.

and i don’t really care.

.

so i guess

cerita hidup ni takkan habis s’lagi kita masih hidup kan

there’s always that little something that’s missing

and most of the time it’s a matter of what you’ve lost than what you think you’re about to miss.

.

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