always between the lines

Published June 5, 2011 by crystalights

okay.

so u avoided me and didn’t speak a word to me for like the past couple of weeks and when one day you finally decide to respond it’s through a text, reprimanding me of what i should (or shouldn’t) have done?

 

terime kasih la byk2.

 

antara dua insan yg seagama, kita tak sehaluan ke?

 

takde ke titik pertemuan yg boleh membawa kita ke arah kebersamaan tu?

 

i have to write this down so that i don’t cry

 

because i have to study and preserve my eyesight for the next couple of weeks

 

terime kasih sbb buat aku persoalkan niat dan tujuan diri sendiri

 

terime kasih sbb buat aku berhati-hati dgn hati aku sendiri.

 

kdg2 aku mcm tertanye2, kenape aku jumpe kau,

 

kenape aku mesti rasa hidup senafas dgn kau

 

tapi aku tahu aku tak boleh persoalkan apa yg dah ditetapkan.

 

kalau aku terase sakit sgt dlm hati ni pun aku mesti berusaha to be strong

 

so that i don’t fall apart

 

(not until the time comes).

 

kdg2 aku rase aku tak larat nak bertahan dgn fluctuations of your mood

 

dgn your attitude

 

dgn your coldness

 

mcm tak larat nak ketepikan what i need semate2 utk elakkan conflict dgn kau

 

susah2 give a damn psl something yg bukan hal aku pun, semata2 utk jage hati kau

 

serious aku rase tak larat

 

aku buat semue tu pun partly sbb aku nak jadi org yg berusaha utk menjage ape yg ada antara manusia

 

and partly because our culture pun utamakan respect (especially dgn org yg older)

 

bukan nyer aku buat semua tu utk menyumbangkn kpd ego kau

 

sbb aku pun ada ego jugak

 

i know what it’s like

 

to feel like you deserve more than what you’re shoved with

 

but no matter what

 

boleh jadi ke bile satu pihak je yg berusaha?

 

aku pun ada tuntutan lain yg perlu aku penuhi

 

hidup aku pun ada masalah jugak

 

hidup aku pun menyesakkan nafas aku jugak

 

hidup aku pun menyakitkan aku jugak

 

my life isn’t a painless one. it isn’t one that is free.

 

so kenape aku je yg kena put up with whatever you decide to say or do?

 

just because umur kita tak same doesn’t mean hak kita tak sama.

 

kita kan same2 insan ciptaan tuhan.

 

.

i’m jst tired.

of being in the vicinity of your presence when you’re not really there but you’re everywhere.

.

 

boleh tak

utk kali ni

jst jgn put me where i’m not supposed to be.

 

.

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