always between the lines

Published June 5, 2011 by crystalights


so u avoided me and didn’t speak a word to me for like the past couple of weeks and when one day you finally decide to respond it’s through a text, reprimanding me of what i should (or shouldn’t) have done?


terime kasih la byk2.


antara dua insan yg seagama, kita tak sehaluan ke?


takde ke titik pertemuan yg boleh membawa kita ke arah kebersamaan tu?


i have to write this down so that i don’t cry


because i have to study and preserve my eyesight for the next couple of weeks


terime kasih sbb buat aku persoalkan niat dan tujuan diri sendiri


terime kasih sbb buat aku berhati-hati dgn hati aku sendiri.


kdg2 aku mcm tertanye2, kenape aku jumpe kau,


kenape aku mesti rasa hidup senafas dgn kau


tapi aku tahu aku tak boleh persoalkan apa yg dah ditetapkan.


kalau aku terase sakit sgt dlm hati ni pun aku mesti berusaha to be strong


so that i don’t fall apart


(not until the time comes).


kdg2 aku rase aku tak larat nak bertahan dgn fluctuations of your mood


dgn your attitude


dgn your coldness


mcm tak larat nak ketepikan what i need semate2 utk elakkan conflict dgn kau


susah2 give a damn psl something yg bukan hal aku pun, semata2 utk jage hati kau


serious aku rase tak larat


aku buat semue tu pun partly sbb aku nak jadi org yg berusaha utk menjage ape yg ada antara manusia


and partly because our culture pun utamakan respect (especially dgn org yg older)


bukan nyer aku buat semua tu utk menyumbangkn kpd ego kau


sbb aku pun ada ego jugak


i know what it’s like


to feel like you deserve more than what you’re shoved with


but no matter what


boleh jadi ke bile satu pihak je yg berusaha?


aku pun ada tuntutan lain yg perlu aku penuhi


hidup aku pun ada masalah jugak


hidup aku pun menyesakkan nafas aku jugak


hidup aku pun menyakitkan aku jugak


my life isn’t a painless one. it isn’t one that is free.


so kenape aku je yg kena put up with whatever you decide to say or do?


just because umur kita tak same doesn’t mean hak kita tak sama.


kita kan same2 insan ciptaan tuhan.



i’m jst tired.

of being in the vicinity of your presence when you’re not really there but you’re everywhere.



boleh tak

utk kali ni

jst jgn put me where i’m not supposed to be.




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