curhat chadstone

Published June 17, 2011 by crystalights

 

ader a few people (termasuk kakak ISMA aku) sruh aku buat fb, supaye snang nak contact or cari aku

aku mcm malas

tapi bile fikir2 balik

hmm takpela.

kita try la.

 

so tadi

aku baru je buat facebook.

buat gitu2 je

malas la nak adjst2 sgt

ntah ape2 ntah yg kluar

 

bukan boleh p’caye sgt kan?

 

aku dh add izzie stevens tu (i’m sure it’s you so just add me back and i can probably establish “izzie stevens” as my sister on fb).

 

anyway

 

aku baru balik dari chadstone.

 

sriously,

 

aku tak teruja pun tgok shopping complex dlm 2-3 kali ganda besar dari midvalley tu

 

sbnrnye aku rase agak tersentak

sbb aku ingatkan kiter nak jln2 somewhere and sight-seeing sambil grab ape2 yg patut

bukan nak pergi satu tempat khas utk bershopping sakan kat pusat membeli-belah sbesar habitat keluarga gajah2.

 

new clothing and acessories don’t interest me

 

new shoes don’t interest me

 

new gadgets on the market doesn’t interest me.

 

aku tak interested.

 

smpai ke tahap the early dinner at that italian restaurant pun tak draw my interest.

 

tak berbaloi travel about an hour just to get to a restaurant yg tak menepati pun apa yg sepatutnya

 

aku tak berkenan dgn tempat tu

 

tak berkenan dgn mknn dier

 

harge dier

 

dgn deretan wine on display

 

dgn the whole flirting thing going on (wlwpun just skadar main2, or suke2)

 

aku tak berkenan dgn konsep “fine dining” yg mcm tu

 

it is not fine, to me.

 

aku tak sangke tempat tu mcm tu.

 

srious la aku tak sangke.

 

i thought it was just an honest, modest place suitable for a group like us to go to.

 

i didn’t think it would be like this.

.

 

kadang2 aku rase pelik

 

mcmane boleh you expect people to tolong angkatkan pilihkan bawakkan baju shopping you

to help you cari the right kind,

to bagi pendapat elok2 kat you (pas tu bile kene sound dgn your friend sbb you, org pun tetap jugak jawab elok2 and then just diam and bagi people like you and your friend menang wlwpun dlm hati dh terbakar habis)

 

pas tu tanye org tak beli ape2 ke wlwpun org tu dh tnjukkan dah tanda2 yg dier takkan beli

 

then pergi mkn pulak tempat tak sesuai 

 

after all that

 

bile org finally nampak sgt keberatan

 

boleh pulak tanye: “kenape?”

 

kenape?

 

kenape aper?

 

kenape aku mcm ni?

 

kenape aku nampak sgt reluctant?

 

kenape aku kene explain something yg people like you sepatutnya dh faham?

 

all the signs are out there

 

all the words are written

 

all of my thoughts are displayed from the things that i do.

 

sbnrnye spnjng hari ni aku rase mcm sgt diuji

 

it was almost indescribable.

 

.

 

aku tahu tak byk org boleh terima pendapat yg aku fikirkan

 

but i thought that we would all at least have the decency to show respect to one another’s point of view.

 

.

 

yg paling terkesan sgt dlm hati aku

is the fact that aku cerita pada one person, the one thing that hurts me

pas tu this one person boleh use it to patronize my point of view

bukan stakat derogatory

bukan stakat insulting

tapi betul2 hurtful

 

almost as if implying that that was what i deserved

 

.

 

aku yakin aku perlu leave after i’m done

 

because i don’t think i can allow myself anymore of this

 

.

 

pas tu suke hati je complain.

 

penat complain,

 

tak selesa complain,

 

lapar complain,

 

sakit badan complain.

 

tak setuju pendapat org pun complain.

 

kalau benda yg kau complain tu memang salah org, then maybe masih boleh diterime lg,

 

tapi ader tak kau terfikir benda yg kau complain tu salah siape?

 

kalau salah tu berpunca dari kau sendiri then buat ape nak terus2an complain?

 

ingat org suke ke dgar rungutan batin kau yg sbnrnye masalah dari kau sendiri tapi kau letak atas bahu org lain.

 

do you think it is people’s job to take care of you and jaga you like a hamba to a princess?

 

kau dh tahu apa consequencesnyer and kau nak buat jugak then kau pandai2 la nak handle, tak pyh la nak complain kat org like people are supposed to make it better for you and fix the mess for you

 

this isn’t highschool and aku bosan and penat and bingit giler its sriously menjengkelkan like sgt2 menyesakkan perasaan

 

wei tolong la grow up skit

 

susa la kalau sume benda nak kene kasi cun je utk kau

 

abis tu org lain takde hal lain ke, sume nak kene tlg uruskan hal kau

 

uruskan diri kau

 

pas tu kau nak lepas ckp main lepas je

 

ader kau fikir psl what other people need?

 

do you think it’s fair?

 

do you think everyone likes to be treated like the debris 0n the soles of your feet?

 

tolongla grow up

 

and grow a heart as well

 

cuba la berfikir more than just for yorself

 

sbb aku betul2 penat.

 

aku rase mcm nak kembali semula ke dunia aku

 

dunia di mana aku tak fikir psl org lain dan aku pun tak sakit hati

 

and trust me,

 

you do not want to see that

 

(because i don’t want to see it too).

.

2 comments on “curhat chadstone

  • weyh..kakak usrah aku kate, kite kene tegas..

    kalaw da agak2 mcm org nak pijak kepale ko,

    ckp taknak ke, atau draw a line mane can mane cannot..

    kindda like that

  • Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    %d bloggers like this: