’cause these words are my diary screaming out loud

Published June 26, 2011 by crystalights

ada byk benda aku nk ckp

tapi last2 tak jgk t’luahkan.

 

so boleh tak aku nk susun ikut nbr?

1. smbung blajar agak mencabar. smbung blajar luar negara lagi mencabar. tapi itu utk kategori org yg dletakkan dlm keadaan mcm aku ni. different cases may show different scenario. tak la semuenyer negative je, ader la hikmah2 nyer. bottom line is: i jst have to deal with it.

2. kalau org boleh sabar dgn aku, insyaAllah dier boleh faham aper point yg aku sbnrnye nk smpaikan. bottom line is: just believe that i do have a point when i wish to speak. kalau tak lebih baik aku diam.

3. aku boleh terima pendapat lain kalau ada sbb munasabah. tapi aku percaya stiap sesuatu pendapat tu sbnrnyer ada cara yg baik utk dsampaikn. bukan bermaksud pendapat tu salah bile penyampaiannyer salah, cume pendapat yg baik mgkin akn diterime dgn lebih baik bile penyampaiannyer lebih baik.

4. aku susah nk percaye org. aku tak suke mintak tlg org yg aku tak percaye. aku tak suke mintak tlg org yg aku tak percaye sgt pun pas tu aku disruh buat smthng else on my own. bleh buat aku lg rase mcm: memang patut pun aku tak percaye org tu.

5. i have friends although not all of them really know me or whatever i have become. i don’t blame them or anythng, i guess perhaps there might come a day when i wouldn’t know them and what they’ve become too. so sbg seorg manusia aku nak biasekn diri utk terime sifat manusia lain. kiter semue hanyalah hamba-Nya.

6. bile aku risau atau devastated, usually it’s because of something that is very important to me. so aku try nk balancekan what is important to me. but what is important to me may not be as important to everyone else. and what is not important to me might actually be more important. so i have to learn more and prepare myself more so that i know what is more important, not only to me or everyone else, but really important than all the things that i’ve ever regarded as important in my entire life.

7. aku suke nbr 7. sbb dier ganjil. sbb dier susah nk dipasang2kan. sbb dier adalah bulan aku dilahirkan. sbb dier ada dlm ciptaan2-Nya. sbb dier tak byk dan tak sikit. sbb dier tak besar dan tak kecik. sbb dlm skala 10 dier bukan gagal dan bukan jugak cemerlang.

aku rase aku tahu aper yg aku perlukan.

tapi aku tak tahu kalau aku boleh dpt ke tak.

 

 

anyway, 

today i quit my job.

received my payment.

 

aku harap aku dpt jumpe jalan yg diredhai tuhan.

 

aku harap aku dpt tenang walaupun ada wktu2 aku berduka cita.

 

aku harap aku dpt jalani hidup yg aman.

 

and i want to curl and cry but i’ve held it back for a while now i’m not sure if i’m capable of that now

semoge aku tak jauh dari tuhanku.

 

dan perasaan aku tak penting.

yg penting is if i have ever allowed my feelings to take over my rationality.

 

 

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