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All posts for the month July, 2011

cerita ceritera

Published July 30, 2011 by crystalights

aku ngantok dan pnat sbnrnye.

 

tpi memandangkan esok siangnya yg terakhir sblm ramadhan dan malamnya yg pertama utk ramadhan jd biarla aku cerita beransur2 dlu sblm dilanda ksibukan yg mgkin mendatang nnti.

 

hari ni kitorg berusrah.

cerita psl ramadhan la.

aku mcm tk berape khusyu’ sgt (aku rse sbb aku cam distracted lately)

tpi skit2 yg aku ingat is pasal puase yg 3 category tu;

yg 1st is puase stakat tahan lapar dahage je,

yg 2nd is puase tahan lapar dahage and kawal pancaindera (puase khusus)

yg 3rd is puase tahan semua t’msuk pancaindera dan stiap wktu dia mengingati tuhannya smpai stiap wktunya terjaga dari kemungkaran (puase yg khusus kpd khusus).

 

aku pn tk tahu aku mmpu ke nk puase ke tahap yg smpai diredhai tuhan

tpi aku rse alhamdulillah tuhan bagi peluang utk mnjalani semua ni, insyaAllah.

 

aku baking sbnrnye siang tdi

smpai rmh kkak usrah pn lmbat sbb nk siapkn icing (tk sempat keras pn sbb nk cpt tdi)

and tried some other patterns. tpi gune icing yg same je.

name dier fairy cake.

alhamdulillah. (siap la jugak).

 

balik dari usrah singgah uni buat keje skit (konon cam nk dptkn mood student gigih la kot. tpi ntah btul ke tidak tu tk brape pasti la. aku jst rse nk train my brain skit. dh sbln lbih b’cuti takut “berkarat”).

 

anyway,

smlm rse best sgt.

after klas tafsir kt surau/msjid, i had this long chat with 1 of the sistr (yg under isma jgk).

and then we kinda talked.

abt life and things and pple.

pas 2 dier cm ckp psl wlwpun dier tk ksah sbb dier phm, tpi not many pple cn get used to my prsonality.

 

smenjak dua menjak ni baru aku prasan psl personality aku tu.

aku ingtkn aku normal la jgk, tkdela pelik sgt ke aper.

pas 2 bile org ckp aku ader strong personality, baru aku cam terfikir “strong ke?”

sbb aku ingtkan ni normal.

sbb aku tk rse mcm strong sgt pn;

maybe sbb aku fikir, strong personality tu yg lg “extra” drpd aku (bcause i’ve seen them so i didn’t really think tht i have 1).

 

tak prasan pulak personality mcm aku ni strong personality.

maybe smtimes my personality is annoying other people kot.

tak tau la.

 

anyway, skrg kt rmh ni tinggal sikit org.

hsemate aku balik msia smlm (tk sure bile exactly dier akn come back).

hsemate yg balik indonesia a few mnths ago pn tk balik2 lg.

hsemate yg lg sorang tu dh pindah kluar dh lbih kurang a few weeks ago ke tmpat lain, maybe nxt mnth kot dier balik singapore.

tinggal la aku ngn hsemate lg sorg ni. and dier pn nk pindah rmh lbih kurang 2 minggu lg.

i think,

i’m probably gonna be alone by mid-ramadhan.

 

tkpela.

biar tuhan yg tntukan.

Dia yg tahu apa yg lbih baik utk aku.

.

before2 nk berpisah tu

hari tu ktorg prgi mkn same2,

ye la smpena birthday 1 of them ngn “farewell” skali.

 

ktorg mkn mknan afghan.

aku rse sdap la mknan afghan ni, dier tk trlalu berempah sgt tpi dier ckup rse rempah.

it was nice.

tpi tkdela mkn slalu kot. (ini pn order makanan utama dua set tpi yg makan 3 org).

sbnrnye (sblm dtgnyer ramadhan) aku teringin nk mkn mknn yg aku suke

ni

fries (with vietnamese sauce)

kt “lord of the fries”, (city).

mcm biasela mostly klau fries kt sni memang takde chilli sauce pn dlm menu.

yg byknyer, sauce2 yg tk pedas.

vietnamese sauce ni dier ckp chilli + mayo (tpi tk rse pedas mne pn).

ni la antare mknn yg boleh la dikatakn agk sesuai utk budget, sbb kiter bleh bli ikot size: sampler (saiz cwn yg mcm dlm gmbar tu), cone (saiz bekas lagi lebar dan pjg bntuk cone), ngn box (saiz box rectangle yg besar, lgi bsar drpd kotak hotdog mcm kt msia tu). 

aku suke kentang.

subhanallah sbb ciptakan sjenis tuber yg rse sdap lgi mngenyangkn dan dpt supply energy, samaada dimasak dgn tanaman/ternakan yg lain atau dimasak sndiri, ini la benda best yg aku suke yg aku tau takde org yg boleh ciptakan, cume Dia je yg berkuasa mengadakan sang kentang ni.

alhamdulillah.

 

okayla

esok mlm ramadhan bermula, insyaAllah.

sblm aku melalut lg baik aku tido.

maafkan semua dosa2 aku samaada yg aku sedar ataupn tak,

semoga semua umat Islam dpt mnjalani ramadhan dgn tenang,

Amiin.

 

(and alhamdulillah. a few days ago dh dpt allowance for the upcoming month).

 

semoge tuhan kuatkan hati aku dan hati kita semua utk harungi ramadhan, syawal, dan bulan2 yg sterusnya dgn cekal dan ihsan,

Amiin.

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hypothesis testing

Published July 29, 2011 by crystalights

 

sometimes there are things that i do that is intended to give people the benefit of the doubt.

it’s like testing theories.

or hypothesis testing.

i don’t want to berprasangka buruk to people so i do things that will allow them to show that they’re not being what i might think they are.

 

kirenyer mcm

klau cikgu bagi quiz, dier nk bagi quiz 1, quiz 2, quiz 3 smpai la berderet2 quiz sbb dier nk bgi peluang utk student dier tnjukkan markah gempak.

 

tapi kan

aku rase stakat ni

wlaupn dh byk benda2 yg aku bentangkan utk hypothesis testing tu sume

tak jugak berjaye nmpaknyer.

 

it’s tiring.

and i don’t know if i should continue (giving people the benefit of the doubt).

 

bile aku susah2 buat cam tu it’s because i want pple to prove that they’re not like that.

but then, not only did people not exactly prove what i hoped they would, they even often end up hurting me.

 

okayla.

maybe tak sume org berfikir mcm aku kot.

tapi aku rase

akhirnye bile hati2 kiter dh tak bersatu

mgkin lebih baik bile kiter semua berjauhan

 

supaye tak la mnambahkn friction.

 

kalau kiter together same2 pn ape la gunenyer klau asyik get hurt je.

 

i have lots of other things to deal with and think abt

aku tak larat nk invest my whole energy on this

 

my life isn’t all a bed of roses

so lg baik aku figure out camane nk heal my own wounds and live, kan.

 

T_T

Published July 25, 2011 by crystalights

 

aku dh malas nk try.

aku penat.

i can’t bring myself to actually be more.

 

murahnya harga airmata aku hari ni.

aku pn tak nak rasa ni dtg

tapi ni la hidup

bila jadi org yg diketepikan.

 

i don’t have anyone who’d cry for me

 

so i cry my own tears.

 

kan senang.

 

no one needs to know.

 

tdi prgi klas pn rse cam nk breakdown

i can hardly believe that i actually sat through all of it.

 

so i spent lunchtime crying.

and fnished up the aftrnoon class

and got lost on the way home because i got on the wrong tram

and then i went home and i still have more to cry

 

it was raining for most of the day

 

what difference does it make

 

even if the rain doesn’t drench me

 

my tears will do just fine.

 

kenape senang2 je aku get hurt eh?

 

kenape people tak think for me the way that i’d think for them

 

i want to be happy too

 

i want to know that i have my people,

the way that they have me

 

i thought we have each other too

but now i don’t know anymore.

 

mudah2an tuhan sabarkanlah aku

cekalkanlah aku

bagi la aku sikit keupayaan utk bertahan

di celah2 semua ni.

 

senangnyer jadi org yg lepaskan semua semahu hati

lepas tu tinggal la org lain yg tpakse take it and deal with it

and try to heal their own wounds.

 

aper la sgt yg aku boleh harapkan pada manusia

setakat menadah hati utk jadi bahan pelepas rasa

pas tu pndai2 sndiri la nk jilat luka

 

 

 

coretan2

Published July 22, 2011 by crystalights

 

insyaAllah esok ader tetamu2 nk dtg

usrah kt rmh aku, insyaAllah.

kali ni beriye la skit sbb sblm ni tk pnah bwat usrah kt rmh aku, ye la rmh aku kn cam pelik skit, ruang tamu pn tkde

jadi ni dh dpt bilik sndiri ni bleh la nk berusrah kt tmpat sndiri, insyaAllah

so

tday i went to the market.

yg ni turkish mildurra hot chillies.

aku pn tk sure pdas ke tk tpi aku rse mcm tk pdas je. ntah la. tdi mse patahkn tgkai dier t’percik skit kne mata aku tpi tk pdih pn.

(ceh. test pdas pkai mata ke 0_o??)

jst rse geram tgok dier pnjng2 dan kinda curly, t’ingin nk rse best ke tak.

 

aku rse, aku m’mng suke supermarket la. bile msuk je mcm snang je distracted.

pas 2 tgok buah2 and so on mule la pkir2 cam nk masak aper, nk bake aper, nk ltak ingrdients aper smbil2 teruja tgok fruits and tubers.

 

yg ni bru test td, ader letak skit turkish cili td tu aftr diblend kn. taruk skit je la. tp dh mkn td tk pdas pn.

 

yg ni bake smlm, ader sesi bdah bku kt rmh the girls.

 

bile aku dh start bake2 ni, i realize that it’s not really a big deal. as long as you have an oven, and prhaps also a mixer, ngn stock2 ingrdients and quite some time to spare then bleh kot if you want to do it.

(jdi aku rse tkde sbb pn nk rse cam best bile slalu baking. sbb tu kan baking je kan. bukannyer sarung bju besi dan agkt snjata berperang).

it’s jst that it cn be quite time-consuming, so i think it’s bst bile dibuat wktu byk free time.

for me maybe i can’t do it slalu sbb i have other things jgk yg lbih pnting drpd asyik baking je 24/7. ngn masak.

 

so

insyaAllah mlm ni ader sister’s gathering dkt2 ngn city,

and insyaAllah klau tkde aral m’lintang esok pgi nk terime t’tamu, then mlm tu nk ikut org prgi broadmeadows (wlwpun aku pn tk sure org tu sudi ke nk diikut oleh aku sbb aku yg pelawa diri sndiri).

tpi nk buat camane, ader dua speaker in one night, klau aku nk ikutkn prasaan sgt pn aper gunenyer klau tk dpt ilmu tu kn.

tkpela.

yg pnting niat kiter.

insyaAllah.

semoge aku tk cpt terase hati dan semoge hati aku pn tk cpt dirasakn dgn k’sakitan.

 

okay la,

lain kali kot citer lg.

 

(aku dh post kn pn srt kt mak ^_~)

 

going on.

Published July 20, 2011 by crystalights

so ysterday i went for an unplanned sleepover.

best tido rmh dorg sbb ader dorg.

we watched “tangled” (rapunzel). ngn a little bit of “cloudy with a chance of meatballs”.

dua2 best.

best tido rmh dorg sbb bleh jmaah and then prgi activity same2.

best spend time ngn dorg sbb dorg unintentionally indirectly makes me wanna grow up a little faster

makes me wanna be better

to be more than what i am through their youthful eyes.

ni hdiah birthday aku.

dorg and a few others same2 bgi hdiah for my 24th birthday.

aku cm ckp: “nk dkt 20 tahun kot aku tk dpt anak patung”.

pas tu dier giggle2.

tpi aku tahu dier nmpk je cam 2.

they are all like that,

nmpk je mcm very young and free

but in reality they think very deeply.

kdg2 wlwpn nmpk cam happy and tingly,

but there are times when suddenly they say things yg m’nmpakkan the true facets of their thoughts.

mcm psl studies. psl people. or psl life.

i’m not saying they’re flawless or faultless,

i’m jst saying that there are a lot of sides to one soul.

smtimes wht u see on the srface tk same mcm aper yg ader kt dlm.

.

alhamdulillah

tuhan pertemukan aku dgn org2 Islam dibumi asing ni.

.

and last but not least,

mum’s package arrived ysterday!

i was very tkjut bt i was in a hurry so i picked it up and went on my way dan bukak parcel tu dlm tram smbil dipandang2 oleh auntie yg dduk kt seat dpn aku.

so

my birthday prsnt(s)

okay see

skrg dh bleh taruk new pics dlm blog post

sbb dh bleh snap pictures ^_~

yes!

hndphn dr msia (wlwpn bukn brnd msia).

tgok logo pos msia pn dh rse cam sayu.

mcm jauh sgt nk smpai.

.

mk hntr surat skali, satu hlai je tpi ckp psl things that has been bought and will be bought.. (itu la gaye2 seorg mk mcm mk aku tu).

anyway

tu la 1st time aku dpt kad birthday dri bdk kcik yg tulis namer dier 3 kali tpi bgi ucapan lbih kurg 3-4 patah je.

lagu kad nk nyaring ek.

dh la tulisn kerinting kecik2 wrne hjau pulak tu.

huhu~

i showed it to my friends and they think it’s sweet or something

idk~

okayla.

hopefully evrythng goes smoothly can hardly blieve it’s the last week of the hlidays ader byk bnda yg msih dlm proses lg mudah2an semuanya lancar, insyaAllah

(aku dh bli ubat sndiri dh pas ni aku rse aku kne truskn hdup mcm tu, bile sakit pn jgn dpend on people so that i cn feel btter, jst ikhtiar sndiri dn srahkn pd tuhan)

anyway esok nk tulis srt t’akhir kot sblm b’akhirnya cuti ni

i also have anothr actvty to attend tmrow, insyaAllah

^_^