what does it mean to you?

Published November 19, 2011 by crystalights

the truth is that

aku tk tahu mcmane nk bgtau kau erti sbnar keikhlasan.


dlm hati aku ni, ader byk benda yg aku simpan

aku tak nak mndtgkn mudharat yg lebih bsar bile aku luahkn ape yg aku fikir

sbb aku tak pasti kau boleh faham ke tidak.


because frm prvious experience it’s easy for people to misundrstand me and my intentions

(although i don’t know why).


stiap bnda yg kita buat, smtimes the effect is not immediate.

sometimes we think, oh it’s only 2 dollars.

but if it’s 2 dollars per week isn’t it like 4 dollars  (or more) per month?

and then multiply by 4 people isn’t it 16 dollars per month?

what kind of cleaning product do you need that requires you to spend 16 dollars per month?


okay aku faham semue org berhak

tapi did i really say that you can tell me what you need (and i’ll pay for them?)

i thought that was for some items, not for cleaning products.

why does it seemed almost as if it’s my fault (for not undertsanding)?


aku sriously tak faham

sbb aku rse sume org ada hak

dan sume org ader duit yg dibelanjakan utk perkara2 trtentu

aku tak faham kenape msti diperkatakan sbegitu


kmudian bile tk berhasil

terucaplah kata keikhlasan


do you know what keikhlasan is?


do you think sincerity is just a word you say in replace of what you couldn’t have?

like a last resort?


i feel frustrated

because i feel that

kata ikhlas itu suci

bukan wajar diambil enteng

digune semahunya bila dtg situasi kurang menyenangkan


this isn’t even really about money

it’s about thinking really2 deeply

when you decide to say or act towards people


if i just say whatever i want or feel

would it do any good to anyone

or would it make things become worse?


is what i want more important despite the damage that i could have done?


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