this morning i woke up and rase mcm tak sdap hati
pas tu baru aku teringat, smlm one whole day aku tak mengaji.
smlm aku uruskn fingerprint-ing utk lesen L
and then aftr zuhur kluar ader hal skit.
ptg tu pulak prgi balai polis and got my answer
aku rase, stakat tu je kot riwayat brg2 tu kt tgn aku.
at least now i know.
moving on to other things,
i felt like i’ve been missing for a long time
for quite a while i wasn’t here to do what i should do
and i don’t want anybody else to do it in my place
now that i’m here
i think it is almost like a part of the niche that i am supposed to fill
some things may not be as smooth-sailing
but the fact that there is a purpose, a few roles you have to fulfil
means that there is a meaning that you can strive towards
it’s not anybody else’ fault that your life is the way it is
maybe it is the best kind of life that could ever be given to you at a time like this
only god knows best
maybe what you have now
is the best that you could ever have for now
it might be different later
who knows what the future will bring?
this isn’t the end
and you’re not at your wit’s end
you’re not the unsalvaged
no one else has to be hurt just because we got hurt
just because someone feels like they didn’t get the better end of the bargain i call life
i haven’t seen you around for quite a while
didn’t you bargain this?
wasn’t it your call?
“and i remember
all those crazy things you said
you left them running through my head”
thought that i should do the right thing.
take it or leave it,
don’t second-guess it
i can’t read every heart
but i know that
no matter how lacking i am
i didn’t really know if you did make an effort
“how can it be you’re asking me to feel
the things you never show”
i didn’t know
whether or not anything i do would’ve made any difference to you
because despite these years you never really knew me enough to give me the benefit of the doubt, right?
at least i tried.
i think it wasn’t because i needed it.
i just felt like it’s what i should do.
for someone like you who’ve known me for quite a while.
for that i think,
i have nothing else to say.