think about it.

Published January 26, 2012 by crystalights

this morning i woke up and rase mcm tak sdap hati

pas tu baru aku teringat, smlm one whole day aku tak mengaji.

aku t’lupe.

smlm aku uruskn fingerprint-ing utk lesen L

and then aftr zuhur kluar ader hal skit.

ptg tu pulak prgi balai polis and got my answer

aku rase, stakat tu je kot riwayat brg2 tu kt tgn aku.


at least now i know.


moving on to other things,


i felt like i’ve been missing for a long time

for quite a while i wasn’t here to do what i should do

and i don’t want anybody else to do it in my place

now that i’m here

i think it is almost like a part of the niche that i am supposed to fill


some things may not be as smooth-sailing


but the fact that there is a purpose, a few roles you have to fulfil

means that there is a meaning that you can strive towards

it’s not anybody else’ fault that your life is the way it is

maybe it is the best kind of life that could ever be given to you at a time like this

only god knows best


maybe what you have now

is the best that you could ever have for now


it might be different later

who knows what the future will bring?


for now

this isn’t the end

and you’re not at your wit’s end

you’re not the unsalvaged

no one else has to be hurt just because we got hurt

just because someone feels like they didn’t get the better end of the bargain i call life


i haven’t seen you around for quite a while


didn’t you bargain this?

wasn’t it your call?

“and i remember

all those crazy things you said

you left them running through my head”

i just

thought that i should do the right thing.

take it or leave it,

don’t second-guess it


i can’t read every heart

but i know that

no matter how lacking i am

i didn’t really know if you did make an effort

“how can it be you’re asking me to feel

the things you never show”

i didn’t know

whether or not anything i do would’ve made any difference to you

because despite these years you never really knew me enough to give me the benefit of the doubt, right?


at least i tried.


i think it wasn’t because i needed it.

i just felt like it’s what i should do.

for someone like you who’ve known me for quite a while.


for that i think,

i have nothing else to say.


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