it isn’t just love.

Published February 14, 2012 by crystalights

i hope that what i’m about to write about, is not a way of being judgemental. about anyone. or anything much. but.

this is what i think of when i see a lot of happenings around me. for quite a while now.

 

i think that love should not be the reason that holds people back from what they could become.

if a person has potentials and capabilities and especially willingness to move forward, then why shouldn’t they do so (if it doesn’t defy any divine law)?

why shouldn’t they be more than what they could be just because it would provide more comfort to the people they are tied to in the name of love;

 

what is love?

does love mean that everything else doesn’t count?

that evrything else doesn’t matter?

what about those years that you worked hard for, those things that you’ve learnt, those people who were there taking care of your back, fending for you, fighting for you, making the effort for you?

people who’ve helped you along the way, people who love you even before you knew what love is;

and what about other people? the rest of the world who needs love and concern as well?

 

if you truly love someone, would you want them to put away their dreams and aspirations JUST for YOU?

is it fair for them? that you not only have them by your side anytime anywhere, you even have them forsaking their dreams for you.

 

is love selfish?

because no, i don’t believe that love is. selfish.

but i believe that at some point, some things have got to give.

 

if it means that you leave work 24 hours earlier so that the one you love can see a dying family member,

or the one you love can function and contribute as a member of society whether or not you love her more than you’ve ever loved anybody else

or the one you love can excel in her own field even more than yours despite the fact that you love her when you know you’re a prideful man;

or the one you love can be guided and corrected by you without having to put her down or below you or letting her mistakes be ignored just because you love her

or the one you love will have her dreams, ambitions and wishes be considered in the decisions that you make even if you hold the power or authority in your household

then i guess that is what “giving” in love means.

(and when i say love, i mean love dlm ikatan yg sah. klau tk camane nk ceriter bab2 household nih).

 

so yes

it’s not that i don’t believe in love

it’s just that i don’t want to feel like: “it’s okay to be selfish (if) i’m in love” as if love justifies everything else on this earth.

 

as if it’s okay to let the one you love put their life on hold just to make way for yours but you just expect it to be that way because this is the definition of rights, love and loyalty or obligations to you, the “deserving” one.

walaupun sbg “nakhoda” kamu berhak, tapi sbg “anak kapal” dia juga punya hak utk dikasihi dan diperlakukan sbgaimana dia mengasihi dan memperlakukan with unwavering loyalty and respect.

walaupun kamu “nakhoda” yang punya hak, tak salah pun if you consider what she feels or need when you practice your rights. if you love her, would you demand what you deserve, or would you feel thankful and appreciate her efforts especially when she comes to your aid willingly out of love?

her efforts that are manifestations of her loyalty and sense of duty should not be taken for granted, right?

lagipn bukan ke Rasullullah (s.a.w) pernah berkata:

“Yang terbaik di antara kamu adalah yang paling baik dengan isterinya”

Rasulullah (s.a.w) pun tk pernah mendisiplinkan isteri dgn cara marah2 di khalayak.

 

so i think

even if i might not know what love is,

i really don’t think i agree with the kind of love that holds people back from what they could become, or disregard their ambitions and wishes, and disrespect their feelings or thoughts, or disregard their loyalty and sense of duty and in itself, disregarding the sincerity of their love.

 

if we know how big it means to love,

would we so recklessly claim to love and to be in love?

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