itulah masalahnye

Published June 4, 2012 by crystalights

..bile hidup terlalu dlm kebergantungan kpd insan lain

aku tak suke

bile aku tak boleh buat pilihan sendiri

aku tak suke

bile aku terpakse mengenepikan ape yg utama utk aku.

aku tak suke.

sbb in the end it’s my life,

i’m the one who has to be responsible for the choices that i make

if i don’t even want to make that choice in the first place

then would it be fair for me who still have to be responsible for it?

 

aku tak boleh terbalikkan reality

aliran hidup pasti akan berjalan

 

this is how life works

not everyone would really think twice about pointing fingers

klau baik, bagus la

klau mudharat, salah aku la kot. sbb aku yg terima. aku yg buat kputusan tu (wlaupun sbnrnye dlm terpaksa)

 

so

i don’t wanna make that choice

 

aku nak hidup dgn tenang dan aman dan sejahtera dan penuh kesyukuran

aku nak bersyukur

aku nak rasa qanaah, 

bile kita redha dgn apa yg Allah bagi.

 

aku nak dia pun tenang

jgn fikir bhw akulah org yg rugi,

seolah2 aku deserve so much better

padahal sesungguhnya apa yg Allah bagi, itulah yg terbaik utk kita

 

aku nak dia pun tenang dan bersangka baik kpd-Nya

don’t let him think that i am wasting my life and my youth as if i deserve more

because honestly, i don’t think i do

i don’t think i deserve more than what i have now

sure sometimes i want more, but i’m not sure i do deserve it.

 

terimalah keputusan ni

kalau aku pergi temuduga kalau tak dpt takpela.

tapi kalau dpt jgnlah expect aku utk terima

sbb aku tak sanggup nak tingggalkan apa yg aku usahakan sehingga ke saat ini

i just want to do my best as part of this ummah

but filial piety is important to me too.

 

i don’t want to be only a chaser of the things that money can buy

i want my life to have more meaning than just the digits in my bank account

i want a peaceful and content life.

i don’t want to have many digits and higher position but be miserable and lead a less meaningful life because of the people and environment that i am working for

ya Allah, please make him understand

that no one has to do any “favours” for me to get “somewhere” and be eligible for “something”

that the favours from You is enough for me

it is You who have been with me all along ya Allah

 

You know me the best

please help me 

please make him understand that it’s okay for me to work hard in a small position and be happy and content and feel some meaning in my life

than work in a big position in a place that i don’t have strong faith and connection to and be miserable and work for something which is not meaningful to me

 

ya Allah 

tunjukkanlah kepada dia bahawa kecukupan yg sebenar2nya adalah milik-Mu

 

hanya engkau yg berkuasa menentukan apa yg terbaik di setiap peringkat kehidupan utk setiap insan

 

don’t let him think that i will live the same kind of life that he fears for me

because the kind of life that i live is not his to arrange,

it has always been a favour from You ya Allah.

 

ya Allah,

ajarkan kami erti kesyukuran.

 

jadikanlah kami org2 yg sentiasa bersyukur dan redha dgn suratan-Mu

 

Amiin

ya rabbal Al-Amiin.

 

i don’t want to wage another war of words against the very person who taught me how to read.

 

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