is the year that my father was born.
for 30 years he has seen and known the world before i did.
since time is of the essence these days (it’s Ramadhan, everything matters, rite?)
i’m kinda juggling a few things at a time.
not sure if this’ll work, but yeah, at least i’m still breathing, rite?
i have lesson materials to prepare, exam papers to write (with the answer schemes), revision session with the ones who’re taking the supplementary exam, a bit of mentoring with the freshies and sophomore students, short-sem and normal-sem teaching with their tutorials to be done, and then yes of course the things that i wanna do for Ramadhan- i can’t just ignore that.
yes i’m busy.
but Ramadhan makes me think
beneath all the mess of the past few weeks
i think i know myself more now
i’ll always want more
because i feel like i’m not doing enough
like i’m not fulfilling what i should
so get over it
while i get over myself (or not)
i don’t know
sometimes i think some people come closer
because they’re intrigued
they’re just puzzled
not because i draw them in,
but because they don’t understand the person that i am.
once people figure me out,
the mystery ends.
when the show’s over,
take a bow
and then everybody goes
so i always go
i always go first.
because i want to be away
before everything disappears