i am so hurt right now.
i am certain that whatever i do is not bcause of you
but it hurts that my choices are being questioned so frequently.
this lack of faith in me is truly astounding.
all of this is not for u, it’s never because of you.
because it’s not worth it to go the distance jst to pacify a person. like you.
because it will only leave me empty.
and I am so used to pple needing me but not really wanting me it’s not even funny anymore how i don’t want or need them back.
so if i’m not doing it for you, why should i explain my choices to you?
if you truly see me as one of your own isn’t it enough that you trust me to not cross the line?
what is it about me that is so difficult to comprehend?
I’m not asking for your appreciation, i’m just looking for a space where d entire world (including you) is not out to get me.
but i guess this means that that space is not here.
since I can sense ths heavy feeling filling me to the brim,
I am going to sort through it the way that i’m most cmfortable with which is: writing.
I may be caught-up with things but
I blieve that my judgemnt is not impaired to the extent that I would b blinded by wht I feel
nape aku buat semua ni?
bcause I blieve that this is what is needed. kite tk nk dipimpin oleh orang2 yg tidak m’letakkn Allah sbg tuhannya, wlwpn hnya utk kwsn2 t’tntu demi utk mncapai dominasi strategi pmrintahan yg supposedly lbih baik.
Bukn kita nk tolak kbaikn, tp akan b’tahan ke kbaikn itu klau diselangi individu2 yg tidak m’nymbah Dia yg m’megang kuasa pmerintahan kwsn2 yg diduduki org Islam? Mampukah dia yg tiada pun sekelumit iman dlm hatinya t’hadap Allah utk bertindak mngikut kperluan Islam dan tntutan agama ini ktika b’kuasa m’merintah nnti?
Disaat itu, adakah kpimpinan Islam yg mndominasi seluruh negara atau kpimpinan yg dkongsikn dgn Islam but without lasting power of authority?
nape kita nak share dgn yg tiada iman sdgkn yg beriman itu lbih kuat, wlwpun tidak sama ramai.