entah.

Published January 9, 2016 by crystalights

ok.
so aftr d presentation suddenly i was asked to start working there.
and so i did.

mls nk cerita pjg tp byk bnda yg helpful & informative kt situ, i guess. just smtimes ada a few thngs tht i don’t really feel cmfrtble with, but hey. i guess beggars can’t be choosers kan.
it feels like the country’s economy is falling apart, just like our lives.
the lives of pple like me.
graduate scholars looking for better opportunities. (konon).

on a diffrnt note, sbnrnya aku rasa tak okay kita kutuk seseorg tu kt org lain, especially bila kita sntuh psl sifat dia sbg perempuan, etc2. wlwpn aku pun pnah je rasa hurt dgn org tu smtimes tp aku rasa kita rasa hurt sendiri2 je la (i think i cried for days. lepas tu i pick up the pieces & paksa diri move on). kalo kita share kutukan2 tu amongst ourselves mcm kita xumpamakan dia sbg insan kot. especially bila kita mcm samakn dia dgn bnda2 yg x baik. & also, mana kita tahu sangkaan kita tu betul ke x? mayb dia buknnye x suka org smpai bleh sesuka decide nk remove pple frm jobs.

aku rasa ni tuduhan yg mcm x logik kot sbb mane ade 1 org yg ada kuasa nk buat cam tu dlm pusat pndidikn kalo dia bukn pengarah.

aku jst rasa, dia bukannya a bad person pun. wlwpn aku kenkadang ade upset sana sini ngn dia tapi dia bukan a bad person, aku rasa dia bukan. sbb dia anticipated some of my needs evn before i asked for anything. pas tu dia byk tell ne helpful thngs yg aku rasa no normal prson akn cuba tell to pple yg completely unrelated. pas tu dia honest. & aku rasa dia sbnrnya alone dlm dunia dia sbb byk org yg undeserving of her wisdom & capacity, in some way. & dia xnk jst give it away sbb utk dia, it was hard-earned. sbb tu kdg2 dia tough on pple.

ntahla.

smtimes kita susa nk judge bila kita x lalui kesusahan2 yg othr pple go thru.

anyway.
i’m kinda in a middle of an unresolved problem sbnrnya, & i don’t wanna talk more about it with anyone else bcause i think nobody can help me.
jd aku jst berazam nk curahkn kt “ruang” lain yg takkn hurt aku.

berazam nk bangun, insyaAllah, amiin.

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