jumbled up inside

Published January 21, 2016 by crystalights

alhamdulillah. td sempat send in my 2nd proposal. & my summary of the blueprint.

& then they gave me d rsearch review tht someone else ws prvsly working on. telling me to do something with it.
pas tu bila aku tgok aku rse mcm ths could take a while. sbb agak berterabur jgkla. i’m not sure wht happened. tp mgkn ada byk factors jgk yg mnyebabkn paper tu jd mcm tu, so xpela. i’m supposed to do smthg to fix it. & find the deeper literature behind the findings.

anyway.

my back kinda hurts.

& td kitorg celebrate brthday someone at d office. the work team is nice. & funny. jst sometimes mcm awkward moment sikit bila ada client dtg pas tu aku malu nk ambik mkanan sbb rmai lelaki dlm ruang yg agak kecil kt couch dpn, pas tu dlm team aku prmpuan ada dua org je selain aku, tp sorg pegi meeting. so tinggal sorg je lg yg sit in our room. pastu bila P.A. bos sruh ambik mkanan aku segan sgt sbb mknn2 tu smua kt dpn clients tu pas tu aku ajak kwn yg lg 1 tu, tp dia mcm x brape nak.

not sure why 😅

xpela.

at least there are other girls dlm team lain. cumanya pas aku ambik mknn aku trus bawak ke bilik kitorg. dh.

abes cerita.

aku malu bila client lelaki rmai2 sbb aku tawu ada yg mcm dh trbiase ngn foreign style punya gathering etc2 nnt jd mcm kita kena make conversation smbil mkn & look like we care & smtimes meleret2. i’m jst too exhausted for that. (hahaha. jahat x).

jst malas. xnak pjg2.

itupun smtimes rasa bsalah jgk dgn team sndiri yg ada lelaki2 jgk.

i jst feel, for myself i feel like it’s not nice bila berpanjang-panjangan dgn lelaki utk prbualan2 yg xpenting pun. lbih2 lg skrg kn zmn fitnah. kdg2 aku rse bsalah bila tiba2 find myslf lost in that kind of conversation unconsciously. pas tu bila sedar smtimes aku slowly back off supaya dpt dihentikn dgn baik. cuma kenkadang trlepas jgk dr kwalan. smtimes i didn’t really do a good job of taking care of it anyway.
astaghfirullahalazim.

smoga Allah jaga smua hati2 kita selagi kita masih ada iman. amin.

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