All posts tagged books


Published September 4, 2010 by crystalights


after that story frm mark twain, i am now reading one of jane austen’s classics.


i found my old book ruined (because of my sister), the book that i haven’t even read yet.

so i ranted at her to fix it.

and this morning i woke up to find the book nicely wrapped, albeit a bit wrinkly.

but i have this knawing suspicion that it wasn’t her who fixed it

(i think it was my mum).


i love my books, especially the old ones.

the ones with pages that are yellowing in colour, and the edges thick and furry with age.

sometimes when i don’t have the time, i buy them first and keep them in a safe place before i find the time to start reading them bit by bit.

i think sometimes i buy books more than i buy a new shirt or a new bag.

because i don’t usually plan on buying them, but when i go somewhere and find the right one i figured that i have to buy it then and there because i don’t know if i could ever find the exact same copy at the next time or the next place.

which of course means that i don’t like most of the usual ones that are always in stores.


it’s a different feeling.


so of course when i found my old paperback book that i thought was safely kept was suddenly in a wrinkled up condition with dried traces of water on them, i went ballistic.

because every single one of those are valuable to me.



she probably just thinks i’m being difficult.

probably she doesn’t even understand my anger.


no one does.


does she even understand how much effort goes into the completion of one book?


it has never been merely “just a book” to me.


nineteen eighty-four

Published August 18, 2010 by crystalights


i’ve just finished reading george orwell’s nineteen eighty-four.

how can someone write something like that.

reading through the story feels like looking at the world through dark tinted lenses

it doesn’t get any brighter.

it made me believe at some point in the story that there could be some sort of possible hope that winston’s experiences wasn’t in vain

but in the end there isn’t any.

no hope. no resolution. nothing.

to put up a little fight and then become just like one of the rest before him

is just.. a tad bit dissapointing.

the story has its strength though, but the ending feels a little anticlimatic.

or maybe because i was at least expecting him to die a martyr (in his own little forsaken heart) at the end but no

he had to (perplexingly) love the big guy at the end

i mean, how do you love something you’ve always known you hate

how do you believe a lie as the truth

how do you carry on, knowing that every single thing wasn’t anything at all

and that the only reality allowed to you is the one planted in your head

how can he still sit and drink and breathe, knowing that everything is wrong?


i don’t really connect with the story near the ending

i still believed what winston had believed before he was “changed”.


and i even half-expected o’brien to stop the torture and suddenly set him free while telling him that he passed the test (like that scene from “V for Vendetta”).

but he didn’t.


as the plot spirals away from it’s starting point i realize that it’s too long for something that ends in that manner

although i was actually expecting it to end much much longer with at least a good resolution for winston and eurasia as a whole

but the end was in actuality a bit shorter (it turns out that the extra page wasn’t the ending, it was the newspeak appendix).

so there.

after these long years i finally have the time and finished it.


and now i’m in the middle of another which i’m slowly taking my time on (because it’s mark twain and his pieces deserve plenty of well-spent time!).


i like his style.

very heart-moving.



(i’m waiting for an email before i can actually start work).

. planet

Published June 7, 2010 by crystalights


i remember this place.

my friends discovered it first back then, and told me about this place which they think i would like.

so i came and saw it myself, and then i don’t quite know why i keep coming back.

it became sort of a little corner where i sometimes run to when i don’t wanna be with people.

like that one time when i got into a little bit of a rough patch (the unsalvaged war) with someone in campus

so i immediately left (before class even ended. bcause i really thought it was the end of that class) and spent the early evening in this place, pick a couple of books and trying to calm down.

maybe i just have this need to be alone whenever my mood is off

especially when i’m upset or angry

i run away and hide sometimes.

because i try to not deal with people when i’m emotionally unstable.

and this is a place where no one is around almost all the time (the only one who’s always there was the owner, and he usually doesn’t mind you hanging around there for as long as you wish).

so yes. for that short period of time in that small little place, that was my temporary shelter. my little refuge.


but then we moved to the new campus and i had to lose my little refuge.

everything feels different and crowded and congested

there are people everywhere, you’re surrounded but you’re really just on your own

you are alone in a sea of human beings

you walk the same path but your destinations are too far apart

you’ll always walk alone

and somewhere along the way i’m guessing i found comfort in that little space of shelter back then because it was what someone else found while thinking of me

of what i would like

of where i would want to be.


so it doesn’t feel like just another reading place

not to me


i came back there when i was doing my final year project

and it’s still the same as how i had left it

the same feeling.


perhaps underneath all the superficial nature of every single day

some things do remain as they are

but what a pity that only some little things do


i can’t be like that little reading place

i can’t stay when everyone is leaving.

i can’t become the constant in someone else’ everchanging life.

even if it means i’ll keep running away all my life i just can’t be someone that i’m not.


but that little place will always have a reserved spot in my heart.




Majestic Tower

Old Town PJ Section 3

random emo-es

Published May 10, 2010 by crystalights


baring2 sambil bace mark twain.

tibe2 rase sedih pulak.


like when edward VI wakes up and realizes that everything wasn’t just a nightmare. that he is no longer the prince of wales son of henry VIII yang duduk dalam istananya lagi.


so far i really like this book. (even though everybody else across the globe  has probably read it).


i know.

i’ve always been behind time.


frustrating fix.

Published April 7, 2010 by crystalights


celcom broadband di puncak alam = MAJOR FAIL!


it’s amazingly shitty. it’s indescribable.


sepanjang sejarah aku gune broadband, kat puncak alam ni rasenye yg paling teruk kot.

careline pun tak bleh nak tolong.


utk 1 entry yg mcm ni pun berape kali disconnected.

mcmane ye. duduk di universitas 1malaisyia. tapi servis internet nya lemah banget.

enggak bisa di backup lagi.


adakah aku perlu memasang dan mencucuk talian tetap di hostel terpencil ini?



mcmane nk search the net for my referencing.

terpaksela harapkan library tak ckup buku tu.

sorry tapi serious shit aku memang ader problem ngan information sources/services yg insufficient/incompetent.

mcm klau aku msuk kedai buku tapi yg ader cume m’lambak2 chick lit ngn paperback malay romanovellas.

nak cari seketul mark twain pun payah.

inikan pule jorge luis borge.

ataupun klau tak suke that sort of thing pun at least something like stephen hawking’s baby pun jadi la.

ni tak.

terpakse la use my sources to download books frm the net. hasilnye? i have to have a pc/laptop to read (sbb hndphn aku meragut wang klau digunekan utk browsing. yela. bukannye blackberry ke i-phone ke PDA. takde harge package pun. byr cash ikut kilo tuh. ye, m’mng aku pnah kene harge maut sbb browse ikut hndphn).

so. how inconvenient that is.

dah la academic books mahal. foreign/imported books (after tax) pun mahal. yg murah cume majalah hiburan picisan dgn gambar2 artis b’tukar2 fesyen.

sruh org membaca tapi jln2 ke arah pembacaan itu dibebankan dgn serampang mata duitan.

mcmane la nak hasilkan rakyat yg bijak + bestari + bahagia?

aku rase. takde 1 buku pun yg aku nak yg aku tak pyh beli. (well except frm my intrnet sources. itu pun kdg2 kene beli jgak sbb susah nak kne bukak pc evrytime nak membace).


ni dah alang2 buat pelaburan 1malaysia, tolongla upgrade skit ye system & supply of books/information to the public. klau buku tu klau boleh tak pyh la tax. ni bukannye rokok ke audi or chevy, ni just buku. utk masedepan dan kebaikan rakyat yg dahagakan ilmu.

majalah yg tutt2 tu banned je la. lg baik bace katalog avon.

buang mase je.


ape lg nak ckp sblm aku msuk tido and contemplate my fate for tomorrow?

oh yes.


i believe that i’m okay.

i’m not that ecstatic to be here, but i’m okay now.

of course, i could pick up the phone and complain but that is of no use now.

nothing matters anymore when you’re stuck (tersepit) on top of (di puncak) the universe (alam) with a beautiful morning and night view but nothing else inside.


mcmane ye.

call tak angkat. msg tak respond.

aper kater esok pkai serbu je office dier. tunggu depan pintu bilik smpai dier dtg.


stalker gile. mcm psycho fangirl plak.

padahal nk ckp psl projek ni.


nape rase mcm aku ni slalu je end up sbg org yg bgitu pitiful skali.


tau2 je dh kene label s’bgitu.



baik msuk tido. esok hari perlu berjuang lagi.



(and i’m resisting the urge to call anyone or go anywhere before i get things straightened out and reports settled in).