ckp melayu maa~

All posts tagged ckp melayu maa~

why not makan

Published March 23, 2011 by crystalights


i think if you like something it doesn’t matter how often you want to eat it (as long as it’s something you’re allowed to eat and it doesn’t affect your health or economic conditions in any way).

i mean,

if it’s something that you like then it really is your choice if you want to eat it every month, or every week, or every friggin’ day.

i don’t think it’s weird. or sick. or friggin’ kesian.

biarla org nk mkn slalu, klw dh itu yg org suke mkn. kalau kau tak suke, tak pyh la mkn. tak perlu la setiap kali tgok org mkn the same thing you want to buat gaye2 “kesian” kan org tu. it’s annoying tau tak.

memangla dpt pahale bile bersimpati/berbelas kasihan kat org sesama Islam, tapi tak pyh la nak buat gaye mcm laa org tu takde benda lain yg dier boleh dan mampu makan sampai kau nak berbahase mcm dier ni takde keupayaan untuk memilih makanan.

serious annoying giler!

some people just like to eat the same thing. some people just don’t want to spend too much time in creating multiple varieties of gourmet food and all that jazz because their time is limited, they rather read more books than cook more food, okay. deal with it.

just because they don’t cook like some big shot cullinary chef it doesn’t mean that they are very “disadvantaged” people.

they just like to prioritize their student load more than their personal whims.

maybe they’re thinking “cukupla aku makan to survive, tak special pun takpe”.

if other people believe in the opposite, then it’s up to them.

tak payah la nak talk in a degrading manner about other people’s food life choices.



dah aku malas nak pikir.

baik makan dlm bilik je.

buat serabot je masuk dapur.



Published February 11, 2011 by crystalights

dear c.L.h,

aku tak tau aper nk buat skrg.

aku dh booking tempat, tak tahu la dpt ke tak.

dh submit nama utk pick-up, tak tahu la dpt ke tak.

tgok2 rented units, tak tahu la boleh dpt ke tak.


ye la, last minit cmni tibe2 dpt tau the people i’m supposed to be staying with cannot let me stay with them.

what a major letdown.

kalau tak boleh, nape tak ckp awal2.

dh la ckp last minit camni, pas tu nk biar org tggu a couple more days until dier contact another family member plak just to ask.

i mean, dh berbulan yg lepas kau dh tahu dh the situation that i’m in.

aku dh bgtau since last year. no, since the period of time i received the offer.

if you can’t deliver as what you’ve spoken of before, then at least when you give the final blow you should make it clear where or who i can go to.

ni tak. you let me believe that it is already taken care of, let me believe that everything’s fine, then suddenly you let me crash down.

dh la last minit. pas tu kau baru la nak pergi tanye utk tahu the outcome dari pihak lain, then sruh aku tggu lg b’brape hari.

padahal aku nk pergi nxt week.

i think an imbecile would know that i’m running out of time.


bagi harapan sedap2, pas tu kecewa kan sampai tahap terumbang-ambing lunyai punyer hancur.

pas tu senang je, sruh org tunggu.

mcm la aku boleh hrp aper2 lagi.


aku rase teraniaye giler

smpai emo2 aku semalam satu hari. smpai mak tanya kalau aku nak ikut pergi supermarket pun aku tak nak ikut, padahal aku suke je pergi supermarket.


sbb aku rase takde mood sgt, rase mcm nak bakar something or hit someone or inflict great emotional or physical damage to people, aku rase bengang sakit hati disappointed mcm org giler


now i don’t know what will happen, where will i stay?

will i get there properly and meet the right people at the right place?



this sucks.


mudah saja

Published January 23, 2011 by crystalights


if people like you really know me,

then you would know that when i don’t say anything in return,

it means i disagree.


untuk diri aku


bile aku diam tandanya aku tak setuju.

it’s as simple as that.

sbb bile aku setuju aku rase aku lbih rela ckp dan beritahu: yes, i agree with you.

tapi bile aku tak setuju dan ntah mcmane keadaan ketika tu tak membolehkan aku bersuare utk aku luahkannya,

jln yg tinggal adalah dgn hanya berdiam diri.


i don’t think you understand my silence

because when i stop saying anything,

you don’t. really. stop.

you go on and on as if it’s okay to subject people to your wants and wishes.

you always put me somewhere where i don’t want to be

everything that i wanted to do for myself suddenly became something about you and for yourself.


aku bengang sgt

why do you make plans which involve my life and my future without involving me in the plan-making?

you didn’t say anything to me about it until you have made your decision

even though it’s my life that you’re utilizing for that plan of yours

dalam dunia ni

aku paling tak berkenan bile org nak ambik jln mudah utk hidup dier dgn mempergunakan jln hidup aku

aku paling tak berkenaan bila org anggap semua hal & perkara sgt mudah dan boleh dicapai dgn cara yg mudah : “alah nanti aku join kau”,”alah kau kan ada”,”alah mesti boleh la, takde hal punye la”.

boleh ke kiter dpt sesuatu kesenangan dgn hanye bersenang-senang?

boleh ke dpt everything by doing nothing?

semua kesenangan itu ade harga yg perlu dibayar.

memang lah perit. life is not a fairytale.

senang ke hati kiter bile kiter dpt sesuatu dgn mempergunakan dan memerah keringat org lain lepas tu bile dah kau serap kudrat org smpai lunyai kau pun bangun angkat kaki dan blah tinggalkan org tu mcm hampas.

mcm satu proses kemanusiaan yg gagal

nilai hidup yg samar

buatkan manusia jadi opportunis, egois, dan penuh dgn sikap keakuan bukan kekitaan

siape yg peduli tentang moral dan harga diri

nilai hidup kita meletakkan kita pd sisi yg berbeza


you want me to go

and then later if things work out you want to jump aboard and stick with me

but you don’t want to think about whether or not it would be easy for me to actually get there

whether or not i can actually make things work out over there

you don’t care about that, do you?

in your head, everything is easy, easy, easy

you’ll stay when it’s easy

so that it’ll be easy for you

you don’t have to work hard because it’ll be so easy

don’t have to think hard because life would be so easy when you’re just jumping ships instead of building cities

and everytime things get difficult it would still be easy for you

because there’ll be people like me and them to fix things

to give things

to make things easy


aku tak tau pun nasib aku mcmane nanti

tapi belum ape2 lg kau dh terang2an ckp tentang hajat hidup kau yg nk bersandarkan nasib hidup aku

ibarat benih belum tanam

tapi dh berangan2 nk petik buah


aku tak nk berkurang ajar

tapi kdg2 aku rase org mcm kau ni melampau



getaway. get away.

Published January 18, 2011 by crystalights


okay so yesterday i kinda lost it.

i was just trying to do what i hate to do the most: explaining myself to people, and then

and then i broke down

and it was messy

and sorta histerical?


tapi aku rase smlm mak doa

utk aku

and then hari ni

mslh tu slesai.



now don’t ask me: malu tu aper

because seriously,

i don’t know if there is anything as malu as the past few days punye malu

malu wei!


nsib baik dh settle la jugak




tapi aku memang rase aku insan yg lemah & hina yg tak boleh hadapi dugaan dgn cara yg sebaik mungkin

aku tak cukup isi & tak cukup kekuatan

kene gali dan bina lagi

mcmane la aku nk hidup jauh2 nanti


ari ni my 9-year-old brother tanye:

“kakak, berfikiran matang tu ape?”

he was trying to do his bahasa homework.

aku jst jawab ikut logik aku and bagi contoh “Mak dgn Kakak Bina”.


sbb aku tak tau pun aku berfikiran matang ke tak.


and then dier tanye lagi

“model kejayaan tu ape?”

and then aku jwb ikut logik aku lagi pas tu aku bagi contoh “Kakak Bina”.

and then dier ckp “semue Kakak Bina~” dgn nada pelik2 dier tu sambil sengih2 pelik kat aku.

aku mcm 0_o sbb


aku pun tak tau aku berjaye ke tak.



aku pun tak tau for sure where is my place in this world

but isn’t life a journey for us to find it?


and last weekend was a great journey

it was exhilirating

and i actually went because i had to attend a briefing on sunday

but i went early just to spend some time out

and by the time everything’s done i realized i hated the briefing

but i loved the first two non-related-to-briefing days in which we just go places, spend money, and eat eat eat!

(i ate all the things i wanted to eat in the span of 2 days~)

my sister panggil tmpat ni tasik kejut. aku pun tkejut dgar dier sebut tasik kejut. ntah pesal ntah name dier cam tu. tapi tak la besar mane pun, jst ramai yg dtg berjogging or exercise (kecuali org cam aku kot).

this is inside putrajaya wetlands park,

the (outdoor water) recreation part.

but. it’s a bit secluded and kinda low key, not everyone knows that something like this is here.

(my sister’s one of those exception because, well, she’s always been an exception to anything hidden. or exposed).

we went canoeing. but talking is tricky because the seats are a bit too far apart. it’s like i’m talking to the wind which carries my voice to the person on the back.

the key here, is the blowing wind.

ala, stakat langgar2 tebing tanah tu takder hal la.

dayung je balik.

ader org fishing kat tepi2. you can fish here for the whole day.

our canoe : Dare Devil

the putrajaya mosque is shiny on the outside.

and shiny on the inside.

even the sun shines majestically through the walls

and out in the open

i feel like a tourist in my own country 0_o

alamanda at night

and yes.

the yellow gossiping twin-swing.

it seems like everyone sitting here has something to say about everyone (?)

tgh main badminton pun boleh rase cam nak terkekeh sbb dgr someone talking about how hot and wanted she is kat sni.

i guess it was nice, stakat nk get away for a bit tapi budget ciput, then boleh la mcm ni kan.

mcm aku ni yg konon akan get away and away next month pun teringin jgk nk get away sekitar tempat2 mcm ni before fate sweeps me away.

before i finally realize that i have no other way

yes, this was what i wanted to do, even just for a little while.


rse cam tak sabar nk tnggu org cuti chinese new year, huhu.



slalunyer aku tak suke sgt explain tempat and things in here

tapi sbb ari ni mood baik sikit (sbb problem tu agak dh sttle), so pjg la pulak photo entry ku hari ni.

lgpn one day i can look back on this and think: i went there and did that and it was amazing.


thank you.



ikatan. sah.

Published January 7, 2011 by crystalights

sorry but

aku tertanye2;

ape bezanyer ader org lain stay bersama pun

kalau yg org lain tu status nyer same je dgn kiter : tiada pertalian darah atau ikatan yg sah.


ape bezanyer?

unless if there is no other choice

nowhere else to go




or if two people mcm a pair of old makcik and pakcik yg husband and wife

and then even if you stay situ you know that the pakcik ader ikatan yg sah dgn the makcik, the makcik ader ikatan yg sah dgn the pakcik.

bile you dtg stay situ, you tahu you stay dgn seorg makcik yg same2 perempuan mcm you and at the same time makcik tu ader ikatan yg sah dgn pakcik yg stay bersama-samanya.

kirenye dlm 3 org tu ader 2 org yg sudah ader ikatan yg sah.


klw 3 org yg berlainan jantina yg langsung takde pertalian darah dan takde ape2 ikatan yg sah tinggal bersama then aku pun tak pasti how to put it into words.

aku pun tak pandai sgt dlm hal2 mcm ni, tapi aku harap ader lah org yg boleh point it out for me and make me understand aper yg boleh dgn yg tidak.