a lot of times we women can’t always get away with wearing certain things.
certain dangerous things.
unless you’re barbie.
because i have respect for myself i would feel somewhat naked if i wear things that barely function as clothes.
we wear clothes for our good health too. to keep our temperatures right.
they’re not merely tools of fashion.
when you wear such dangerous things
you don’t really know if you’re well protected and secured enough from all those threats the entire universe contains.
you know, the mental, psychological, social, physical threat that comes with such garments.
as for me, when it comes to clothing and womenswear i would like to believe that it’s better to be safe than sorry.
and i also would like to believe that i, like the rest of the human population, deserve as much respect from people to not be shown parts of the human body which i do not wish to see.
they tend to attack my eyes.
cut down on the peek-a-boo thingamajig.
no one wants to unintentionally guess your size and all.
and no one wants to know how stretchable your outfits are.
i thought it doesn’t matter where i’m going and who i’m seeing.
i am 23 years old after all.
i finished highschool a long time ago.
i mean. we all have our moments being-stupid-with-friends and little immature occasions where things don’t go well between you and your hot-blood friends.
since i am supposedly going somewhere soon, i just thought that there are a few of my old friends i need to see, just for old times’ sake.
whatever happened in the past is in my memory but i don’t think it’s something i want to dig up and bitch about at a time like this.
at a time like this, i don’t wanna go through piece by piece and pick out the ones that i don’t like, or don’t feel good with.
i want to just see them for a bit.
at least enough for me to know that i didn’t hurt anyone and no one’s hurting me (anymore) now.
that i’m not hurt by anyone anymore.
so i don’t really understand why she’s reacting like me going to see them as something very unworthy of my time.
this is probably the only last bits of time i have left before leaving, of course i should go and see them.
of course i should spend my time on something that i have given my word to.
i agreed when one of them said that they wanted to see me.
so i should go. spend what little time i have left with them.
before i really leave for that specific period of time later on.
i know i’m selfish most of the time, but now i also know that i have to do everything i can while i’m still here so that there’ll be no regrets.
and if words fail me, at least my actions could show what my heart wants to say, somehow.
so i don’t understand why she doesn’t understand.
this isn’t a whim.
it is a need.
i needed to know that i can start with a clean slate later when i finally go where i’m supposed to be.