hari

All posts tagged hari

“di atas normal”

Published March 16, 2012 by crystalights

kebelakangan ni kesibukan melanda

 

but it’s allright,

i want to embrace it with open arms.

 

anyway,

bukankah hidup yg bermakna adalah hidup yg bermanfaat?

 

hidup dimana tenaga + masa + usaha bukan spenuhnya terhambur pd pkara yg manfaatnya sifar.

 

i think

it’s either you control it, or it controls your life.

 

sbb, siapa lg yg akan pelihara kita?

sebaik2 pemelihara itulah Allah.

tapi usaha kita itulah pengiring yg terbaik bagi tawakal dan doa.

bukankah

“setiap manusia itu pemimpin,

dan setiap pemimpin itu bertanggungjawab ke atas pimpinannya?”

 

walau kita hanya memimpin diri sendiri

tak bermakna kita tak perlu mengendahkannya

 

dalam hidup ni apa yg penting?

 

bila amalan fardhu dipelihara kerana-Nya,

kemudian usaha2 seperti mnjlnkn tnggungjawab2 tertentu atau pencarian rezeki & etc. adalah utk manfaat diri dan umat-Nya,

seterusnya perhubungan dgn ciptaan2-Nya dijaga utk meraih redha-Nya,

bukankah itu kehidupan yg bermakna?

kehidupan yg bertumpu pd usaha utk bermanfaat kpada diri dan umat.

 

if i care about what i feel more than how i care about all of the above,

to the point where i don’t want people to say ANYTHING about my amalan fardhu,

or my attempts on the effort/usaha2 (ke arah manfaat) termasuk dlm mnympurnakan tnggungjwb atau mncari rezeki (lillahi Ta’ala) & etc,

and then i don’t want to jaga my perhubungan dgn ciptaan2-Nya kerana-Nya,

then what is it that i am living for?

 

adakah utk aku spend the whole time for something yg sifar manfaat dan tiada makna?

berbaloi ke nak give up some things that are so valuable, for nothing but temporary relief and false assurances?

jadi aku berseronok sendirian di atas keringat dan kudrat insan2 lain yg berusaha menunaikan tugas perhambaan mereka kerana-Nya?

bukankah tibanya agama-Nya kepada aku adalah kerana org2 terdahulu di zaman terdahulu tidak hanya berseronok sndirian di atas keringat dan kudrat insan2 lain?

 

is it enough for me to just spend time only doing things that i want or like and only for my own selfish self, and then when i’m with people i still want to let my selfishness manifest itself so massively to the point where my feelings are prioritized above the rights of others?

bukankah org lain yg punya hubungan dgnku juga punya hak ke atas ku?

bukankah Tuhan yg mnjadikan aku juga punya hak ke atas ku?

 

boleh ke aku terus2an hanya inginkan/lakukan segala yg diingini hatiku dgn mengenepikan segala hak2 yg lain ke atasku?

 

bukankah ibarat seperti berpaut pd secebis khayalan

bila terjaga dari lena, semuanya hilang dari mata

realiti bukan mimpi2 yg akan berlembut dgn kealpaan diri kita

mungkin setiap hari adalah satu pengajaran

dimana proses pembelajaran tidak akan menunggu kita bangun dari dongengan kosong

 

“life is not a bed of roses”.

semua perkara menuntut sesuatu.

bukan sekadar kita menghela nafas dan membuka mata maka semua akan tertunai.

tidak.

hakikat hidup tidak begitu.

 

so why would you be so angry and upset over something that is so very..normal?

 

because it is normal that most desirable things require usaha and effort.

and it is normal that amalan fardhu itu sebahagian dari kewajipan.

it is also normal that perhubungan sometimes requires penjagaan dan respect.

 

jadi apa yg begitu luar biasa sekali sehingga lahirnya ekspresi penuh emosi yg begitu mengetepikan hak2 insan lain itu?

 

what is it that you’re faced with, that hundreds or thousands of other people could possibly be facing (or perhaps in even worse conditions) for a greater cause?

is it for a greater/better/good cause?

or is it for yourself and your whimsical cause?

 

saat kata2 tak memberikan erti

lalu

apa lagi yg tinggal?

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three days

Published February 12, 2012 by crystalights

a few days ago i was at this

..camp.

it’s not like a real tent-building camp because we were given rooms in pairs

for a 3 days 2 nights stay, it’s quite comfy, huh?

 

it was quite well-supported, even the venue for activities weren’t like what students would’ve had back in the old days

 

makanan pun best.

hidangan ptg yg menarik ^__^

comel kan?

 

anyway,

other than the physical infrastructure and food, jom kiter kupas sikit intisari program ni.

 

program ni diadakan utk pelajar2 skolah yg terpilih dari skolah2 yg dipilih. kirenyer, as far as i know, the students are pelajar2 tingkatan 4 yg dipilih oleh skolah samaada berdasarkan academic performance (yg baik) atau jawatan (yg baik) atau lain2 faktor2 (yg baik?) yg diambil kire oleh skolah masing2.

bottom-line is: they are good students yg baru berusia 16 tahun.

 

so, what am i doing in a teenage camp?

jwpnnyer:

mstila jd faci. (takkanla jd peserta lg kot. i dh nk msuk 25 ths yr, okay?)

so i was there as a facilitator.

 

honestly when i first decided to go, i was nervous. and a little bit scared (hahah).
because it’s unlike anythng i’ve ever really been part of before kot.

and i think tujuan program ni sgt besar dan murni. takut jgk klau2 kekurangan diri mencacatkn program secantik ini.

 

so i got there. met the students. met other facilitators (who were mostly younger than me! i was expecting kakak2 bcause i really am not exactly sure of what to do)

waktu tu teringat istilah “lari dari medan perang” and i thought of how the Quran described jihad qital (berperang) tu sgt menggentarkan. tapi org2 beriman masih di medan dan kepercayaan terhadap janji-Nya dan pertolongan dari-Nya menguatkan keberadaan mereka di situ.

 

and so i guess..

i know that no matter what i’m already there, i have to make it work. bukannyer aku kene berperang angkat snjata, jst berperang dgn emosi diri dan rasa takut supaye dpt berusaha utk tujuan ini (insyaAllah).

 

so aku rase, sbg facilitator, i have to facilitate their learning process; and tarbiyyah process. or something like that.

 

so i went through most of it with them, especially utk slot2 aktiviti dlm kumpulan, discussion and also sesi “refleksi” yg sgt emotional tuh.

i don’t know if a 16 year old can devour the whole thing and walk out as a better person, because the way a teenager thinks may not be the same as an adult.

tapi, wlaupun aku rase ader sikit2 “hiccups” here & there yg sedikit kurang manisnya (sbb anak2 semuda ini mungkin tak begitu mudah memahami tujuan sesuatu jika kaedahnya kurang kemas atau kurang berpadanan), aku tetap rse at least sbhgn drpd pengisian program tu sbnrnye b’tjuan utk memberi input bahawa setiap insan diberi tujuan dan warisan dan ada tugas dan peranan utk dipenuhi.

aku rase dari berbagai jenis pengisian yg ada, insyaAllah ada sikit yg smpai pd anak2 ini, walaupun sekadar ape yg baik dan buruk utk dilakukan atau dihindarkan.

 

by the end of the whole program, i think i learnt a few things as well.

 

and i realize that: kerja kita masih byk.

masih byk anak2 yg perlukan perhatian.

 

sometimes it’s not enough to just save yourself.

 

sbb kita diciptakan dijadikan se-ummah.

if no one cares, then what will be the ending for our ummah?

 

even if you breed your lot to be the best, you can never guarantee that they will not be ruined by whatever you’ve left neglected around them.

 

that is why, it is not enough to save just yourself and what little amount that you want to take care of only, right? your brothers and sisters in this ummah is just as crucial ♦

cerita kita.

Published December 31, 2011 by crystalights

hari ni se(tengah)harian aku berkemas2.

packing utk program nxt week and also unpacking my luggage (yup, dh hmpir 2 minggu kt msia baru nak unpack betul2).

smbil2 berkemas, i found something

memento dari roadshow palestin 2011.

(kt dlm siap ader tndtgn tuan2 penceramah lg).

wktu roadshow palestin tu, kje aku tkde la bsar sgt mcm kwn2 yg lain. (wktu tu aku ter “miss out” the fact that they’re looking for volunteers to work in teams for the palestin roadshow. aku ingtkn dorg jst nk volunteer mkanan utk jmuan rmh trbuka yg aku pn tk sure aku free ke tdk wktu tu. so, melepas la jgk peluang yg penting utk tht kind of imprtnt conribution -__-).

wlwbgaimanepun akhirnye, aku dpt jugak some kind of kje utk roadshow palestin 2 (alhamdulillah ^__^), tpi kje aku bukan a.j.k utama utk hari roadshow tu. kje aku buat laporan utk the whole event roadshow palestin dari pagi punyer lessons smpai la malam punyer auction. it was an amazing experience. syukur alhamdulillah semue org yg terlibat dpt contribute at least something ^___^

wktu ptg tu, ader dua org kakak tarik aku and a few girls utk say somethng to the camera.

aku pun dgn rase mengalu2kan camera (mcm org tak malu) duduk dpn lense tu and jawab soalan psl ape yg kiter plan to do regarding the palestin punyer cerite.

 

so now i think i kinda remembered what i said.

and again, i want to tell this story.

 

dulu2, palestin tu meliputi a wider area.

beyond west bank to gaza.

no actually, the “bank” tht they call the west bank wasn’t originally there.

it was constructed by those who felt that they have a right to construct and divide the land that they wanted,

the land that they felt they deserved.

they wanted it as if they deserved it.

as if.

 

anyway,

why is palestine important utk agama kiter dan org muslim mcm kiter?

because the Quran and hadith has spoken.

 

jom kiter refresh balik:

“..ke sebuah negeri yg telah Kami berkahi untuk seluruh alam” (al anbia:71).

“..bumi bagian timur dan bagian baratnya yang telah Kami berkahi..” (al a’raf:137).

“..ke negeri yg Kami beri berkah padanya..” (al anbia:81).

“..ke Masjidil Aqsa yang telah kami berkahi sekelilingnya..” (al isra’:1)

“..ke tanah suci (Palestina) yang telah ditentukan Allah bagimu..” (al maidah:21).

 

masjidil aqsa di palestina itu lah kiblat kedua selepas masjidil haram di mekah.

mula2 kiblat kita kaabah di mekah (masjidil haram). kmudian ditukar kpd masjidil aqsa di palestin. kemudian kembali semula kiblat di mekah. (ada pendapat yg lebih menekankan pd perpindahan kiblat masjidil aqsa kembali ke masjidil haram berbanding yg dihurai di sini, Allahu’alam).

di masjidil aqsa itulah tempat Rasulullah s.a.w di isra’kan dari masjidil haram, sblm dibawa ke sidratul muntaha and above.

di situlah Rasulullah s.a.w mengimamkn solat swaktu peristiwa isra’ mi’raj tu.

hakikatnya, sejarah kita meliputi kisah2 di tanah itu.

tanah itu kurniaan yg suci dari-Nya. tapi telah pun dijajahi dan rakyatnya (saudara2 kita) dizalimi oleh org2 yg tidak menyembah-Nya.

 

so, ceriter Palestin bukanlah ceriter charity.

Isu Palestin isu yg mlibatkn “akidah” Islamiah, part of the fundamentals of our religion.

Part of our duty to uphold.

Part of what we stand for.

bile kiter kata Palestin tanah utk semua umat Islam, bukan ke isu Palestin tu isu semua umat Islam?

 

it’s not just a matter of kezaliman berleluasa, tpi it’s also a matter of kezaliman yg berleluasa ke atas org Islam oleh org bukan Islam.

 

i think, the least that org Islam (mcm kiter ni) can do is at least care.

at least ada rase2 mcm: “eh. this is not right”. (wlaupun kiter tak boleh nk physically go there and stop it).

 

kiter boleh try kurang2kan contribution kiter pd perniagaan2 yg contribute kpd military, media and orgnization “org2 itu”.

boleh try kurangkan kbergntungan kita pd produk2 “org2 itu”.

boleh try mnderma utk kperluan palestin.

boleh bagi sumbangan skit2 atau byk. (boleh layari laman web aman palestin klau rse berminat nk tahu lbih lnjut).

boleh berdoa utk warga2 palestin yg berjihad di jln-Nya.

 

kiter pun boleh berusaha (utk umat Islam dan agama ini, lillahi ta’ala), utk lakukan dgn lbih baik walau aper pun peranan yg kita pegang,

klau kita pelajar, maybe kiter boleh berusaha utk bljar dgn lbih baik;

klau kita doctor, maybe kiter boleh berusaha utk beri khidmat perubatan dgn lbih baik;

klau kita penulis blog, maybe kiter boleh beri liputan tentang kisah palestin dan/atau kisah umat Islam dan agama Islam dgn lbih baik;

 

supaye kiter dpt lahirkn kesyukuran melalui amalan2 dlm hidup ni atas segala yg kita dh dpt dari-Nya yg mungkin warga palestin tak dpt (mcm kita);

supaye kiter dpt contribute pd nama baik agama dan umat ini: bahawa org Islam bukan sentiasa lemah dan di bawah dan bukan tempatnya dipijak dihina disia2kan diperkecil diletak di dasar.

supaye: utk stiap muslimin dan muslimat yg tidak dpt membangunkn umatnya kerana telah ditindas dan dianiaya; akan ada pelapis2 dan pewaris2 pejuang yg membantu menggalas tugas sbg sebhgn dari umat ni, utk agama ini. 

bukan ke ini cara kita utk bersyukur bila kita dpt sesuatu yg  insan lain mgkn tk dpt?

bile kita diberi sesuatu, especially bile diberi sesuatu yg lebih dari insan2 lain, ape yg kiter akan jawab klau 1 hari nnti (di hari akhir, di tempat manusia dikumpulkn), kiter ditanya tentang aper yg kiter telah beri dgn segala yg tlah diberi oleh-Nya kpd kiter?

wktu tu,

sanggup ke kiter jawab:  “aku gunekan segala yg telah diberi kpd aku utk kebahagiaan aku sendiri shj”

 

mnjadi org Islam yg merupakan sbhgn dr umat Islam itu ckup ke dgn hanya prihatin dgn khidupn diri sndiri shj?

 

agak2, if the people in the past were only concerned about themselves, adakah akan smpai Islam itu pd kita?

 

atas jasa siape yg kite dpt mnjadi org Islam skrg?

 

pendapat indah berkata,

selagi kita ni org Islam dan sbhgn dari umat Islam, selagi itulah perlu adanya (at least) pemikiran (atau concern) tentang umat Islam dan agama Islam.

wlaupun kita tak tahu byk benda,

wlaupun kita takde jwtn tinggi atau bergaji besar atau berketurunan termasyhur,

walaupun kita hanya org biase,

tapi selagi kita org Islam, selagi tu lah kita ada tugas2 yg penting mcm ni.

 

sanggup ke kiter terime bile org pandang rendah/ serong/ negatif/ kecil/ insignificant pd agama Islam dan umat Islam tu sndiri?

kita penganut agama Islam kan, bukan penganut agama rendah/ serong/ negatif/ kecil/ insignificant.

 

org Islam boleh berjaya, insyaAllah.

dan org Islam yg berjaya tu insyaAllah seelok2nya adalah lebih baik dari org bukan Islam yg berjaya.

sbb, dgn adanya iman dan ihsan, insyaAllah ada kejayaan yg hakiki bukan sekadar duniawi.

kejayaan yg bukan hanya memanfaatkn diri, tapi jugak insan2 lain dan seluruh umat Islam.

 

okay la.

klau aper2 yg aku tulis ni salah atau tak kena, harap2 ambikla yg baik2 je sbg pengajaran positif. yg tak baik tu tk perlu diikut.

 

akhir kata biar aku tutup dgn serangkap pantun (2nd publishing):

 

Qalam Al-Quran pengukuh bicara,

Tanah yg berkat di bumi anbia,

Anugerah dan kewajipan untuk dipelihara,

Warisan dan amanat kita bersama.

berhenti.

Published December 6, 2011 by crystalights

i want to sleep.

i want to sleep.

but i need to stop feeling anything first.

 

if tomorrow comes,

i don’t want to remember tonight’s tears.

 

tomorrow morning will be another day.

reading. cafe breakfast + book discussion. and then i guess off to uni to finalize the booking for my grduation regalia.

 

but first.

i have to get through tonight first.

 

airmata sila berhenti.

 

i am.

Published December 6, 2011 by crystalights

 

my childhood was not your childhood.

i didn’t grow up like you and become you.

 

this is how i’ve always known things to be.

logic.

reason.

reality.

so i guess even when i hop into my whimsical side once in a while,

somehow perhaps i’ve always known that reality is where i come back to.

 

it’s my residence.

 

it’s part of what i am.

 

(hands down)

spjg spring ni..

Published December 6, 2011 by crystalights

..kitorg telah pun ber “mukhayyam”

..ber “jaulah”

and i guess in a way,

ber”ukhwah”.

 *

 

hari ni kitorg pergi ke “hanging rock”.

ader org pesan sruh pkai warne biru.

rupenye sbb:

sebiru hari ini

“..walau kita kan terpisah”.

 

i feel happy and sad all in one day (and night).

 

kdg2, we try to do things so that we don’t cause trouble to other people but sometimes things just happened

i don’t blame anyone but myself

but of course

it doesn’t make it hurt any lesser

 

sometimes

once in a while,

it’s nice to be understood.

 

i think

i’ve lost the things that i would have said in times like these.

 

because words can only do so much when the heart speaks its own tune.

 

i think,

it’s okay to feel like this now

 

at least i didn’t mean to cause more damage than repairs.

 

i didn’t mean to do a lot of things

but when they happen, i wish to bear it on my own.

 

it’s okay

i’ll take this.

 

at least,

for one little tear, there has been many more laughter.

for one little hurt, there has been many more joy.

 

it wasn’t a painless journey

it wasn’t easy

but i think

it is the kind of pain that i have to live with

 

going and leaving

attachments and detachments

 

i never really knew my own place, did i?

 

as i looked at the sky

i saw the clouds separate so rapidly

almost seemed like a season’s movement in a few stolen glances.

like it was meant to disintegrate as natural as it integrates

it changes its form

and then, whatever it becomes seems like what it always should have been.

 

this way,

no one can say that it’s not meant to be.

not a soul can truly say how it should have been.

the clouds move with the winds

no matter how long it will eventually move away

 

no matter how much everything is worth

no matter how huge your efforts are

sometimes

you just can’t shape things the way you wield clay into pottery

 

you can’t “takluk kan hati” sesiapa pun

 

sbb,

pemilik hati kita yg sbenar adalah Allah.

 

Allahu rabbi.

 

sesungguhnya, hanya Allah yg tahu ape yg aku rase s’hingga ke saat ini.