music

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superman can’t fly

Published February 15, 2011 by crystalights

i think that music has always been subjective to each individual

in terms of music, something that spins with you may not always go well with everyone else

so sometimes when it comes to music i think it’s okay to not explain the “who”s and “why”s

scrutinizing and seeking reasons behind one’s preferences in music – isn’t that quite pointless?

some people just like what they like

for whatever reason, it’s entirely up to them.

just because some people listen to foreign songs, it doesn’t prove that they only entirely support foreigners

in music, the position achieved by foreigners or home-growns are drawn by the music they represent themselves

even when you love your country, it doesn’t mean you have to love everything about your country; like whiny politicians, expensive fuel, small pay, and bad musicians.

so.

what does it matter which part of the world the music comes from?

no matter how you look at it, music is still music.

just let the music speak for itself.

(because this is his self-penned composition).

Mum said one should not be too fussy over most matters
But my sense of mission found me and i can’t sleep over it
If scolding someone requires some skills
I will add a tune and you will feel it’s very cool (diao)

My gun is not loaded with ammunition
So don’t worry, nobody will collapse

I don’t need a double for The Green Hornet because confidence is the coloring for my painting

The meaning behind the things I did is far beyond your imagination
Filming a tv drama is for friendship and a dream 10 years ago
No matter how high the rating is, it can’t match my noble ideal
Because my life do not need another award

I don’t know when I have become a society’s role model

Can’t show the paparazzi the finger and have to put on a magnanimous front

The lyrics I sing must have some degree of literacy
Because it might become teaching material anytime

Can CNN interview me when my English gets a little better

Can i reshoot the Time magazine cover

I must take care of my image at all times
I must control my diet or i won’t look like the “me” in Madame Tussauds

(it doesn’t look like me in the first place)

There are many handprints and footprints at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre
When will mine be seen there?

If Superman can fly then let me take a breather in the sky
Overlooking this world again will let me feel better
Saving the world is tiring, though I am a little tired, I still will
Don’t ask me if I have cried
Because Superman can’t cry

(You) must get best male singer award as a singer
A newcomer award is not enough if you act
Not attending award ceremonies is considered rude
And if you do, it means you are over-concerned about it

When you won an award and teared, people will think you are fake and exaggerating
When you have no expression, others will say you are too arrogant
And if you are born with that expression, they will even blame your mum
In the end someone else gets the award, you also have to give ample applause and smile

The car you drive can’t be too luxurious nor can you live too high up

Am I a singer-songwriter or a representative of good men and good deeds?

My album must be ranked top once released

My movie must sell well

I can only say, being a Superman is difficult

If Superman can fly then let me take a breather in the sky
Overlooking this world again will let me feel better
Saving the world is tiring, though I am a little tired, I still will
Don’t ask me if I have cried
Because Superman can’t cry

 

 

from the album: the era 
singer/songwriter: jay chou jie lun

credits

habinonha@youtube

 pinkrabbit17 @findingjielun

 catseyes @jaychou.net

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one fine day.

Published December 12, 2010 by crystalights

 

wow.

i lost my post.

all those writings = gone.

i can’t believe wp didn’t autosave that.

bummer.

i hate it when this happens.

.

but

i don’t care,

i’ll still put a piece of it here.

again.

.

so,

deep breath.

one more time.

.

that day when flowers fall

that classroom

how come i couldn’t see

the disappeared rainy sky?

i really want to be drenched again

never thought that i still kept the courage that i have lost

.

you know,

there’s this feeling you get when you secretly view some people’s pages

while listening to this song.

especially if those people don’t even know what you’re up to.

but you know them.

and they know you.

it’s like

a hollow pain

at the base of your heart.

it’s stupid, i know.

but i don’t know why i feel it.

i thought i didn’t care

but why am i (even) doing this?

i should just

get ready to leave.

.

this doesn’t even mean anything.

no one means anything to me, right?

and i don’t mean anything to anyone, right?

right.

okay.

i get that.

it’s fine.

i’m fine.

everything’s fine.

tomorrow should be fine too.

i’ll go to sleep tonight and go see the ocean tomorrow.

and then i don’t have to think and be confused about this anymore.

.

okay.

goodnight.

.

musica

Published October 6, 2010 by crystalights

 

i hear this song

beautifully repeating itself

in my head when i’m awake.

…♦…

A D I L K A H ♦I N I ♦U N T U K K U

…♦…

aku memilih dia 

(i chose him)

bukan karena cinta padanya

(not because i love him)

aku memilih dia

(i chose him)

hanya karena kau tinggalkan aku

(only because you left me)

kau tinggalkan aku

(you left me)

di sini sendiri

(here alone)

aku memilih dia

(i chose him)

sejak kau khianatiku

(since you betrayed me)

dunia seolah

 (the world seemed)

akan runtuh

(like it would crumble)

dengan memilih dia

(by choosing him)

aku mencoba untuk lupakanmu

(i am trying to forget you)

untuk melupakanmu yang menyakitiku

(to forget you who hurt me)

aku memilih dia

(i chose him)

adilkah ini untuk ku

(is this fair for me)

atau cukup

(or enough)

adilkah ini untuknya

(is this fair for him)

dia yang selama ini mencintaiku

(he who has all this while loved me)

dengan tulus

(sincerely)

dan sepenuh hatinya

(and with his whole heart)

dosakah kini diriku

(have i now sinned)

yang tak pernah membalas arti cintanya

(for not returning his meaning of love)

karena cinta sejatiku

(because my true love)

telah menghilang

(has disappeared)

telah habis terbawa oleh mu

(has been gone carried away by you)

dengan memilih dia

(by choosing him)

aku mencoba untuk lupakanmu

(i am trying to forget you)

untuk melupakanmu

(to forget you)

yang menyakitiku

(who hurt me)

aku memilih dia

(i chose him)

ku memilih dia

(i chose him)

beautiful lies

Published August 18, 2010 by crystalights

 

*

watching the rain

a thousand voices call her name

she turns the lights on

to blind the pain

*

she runs out the door calling

she leaves the TV on

what does she do

when her faith is falling

*

she lights a candle

shadows dancing on the wall

will there be moonlight

when darkness falls

*

beautiful lies, beautiful lies

will she survive

as angels cry, as angels cry

are you there,

are you there

she’s all alone

without a prayer,

without a prayer

*

love’s crimson glow

fading into pale

listening as twilight

turns to day

*

why do her memories last a moment (and then they’re gone)

she writes an ending but it’s all wrong

*

why does her heart feel so alone

why does her song seem so hollow

won’t you please tell her

*

won’t you tell her that you knew it all along

*

watching the rain a thousand voices call her name

she turns the lights on

to blind the pain

*

beautiful lies

*

this one

on repeat

for another cold wednesday

*

i wondered if she

felt the same way writing it

the way i felt when listening to it.

*

ordinary

Published May 27, 2010 by crystalights

 

okay.

up until now i still have no idea who won american idol and i honestly don’t care.

they’re good singers and all but i really don’t feel the “finale material” vibe.

in fact, i was surprised that both crystal and lee made the cut.

they’re singing what they’re good at but more singers can sing that good in what they’re good at too, AND more.

i don’t feel the idol aura.

it’s like i could just go there and meet anyone on the streets who could sing like they did and not give off any different feeling than the feel that they both give off. 

there is no magic.

and it seems like maybe voters these days are mostly into choosing the more ordinary ones and then feel like ordinary people like the rest of the population can be an idol too.

you know.

the truth in reality tv: wouldn’t we like to believe that someone like us can have a shot at greatness too?

taylor hicks won american idol.

yeah. and kris allen.

and then another.

.

so

what does that say about reality tv now?

.

sayonara

Published May 5, 2010 by crystalights

 

i realized nowadays that i space out a lot.

up to a point where people are talking (to me) but inside my head something else is talking

talking talking talking

telling me something which i already know

.

when people ask me

“do you want to *something something something*?”

 i usually don’t think about whether or not i want to,

but rather

what would happen if i don’t?

because most of the time

i don’t want to.

.

maybe i don’t like the things that most people like

or

i don’t like to feel like i’m not any different than the people that i don’t like

(haha)

or

i just am that difficult to entertain.

.

~

.

if tohoshinki really breaks up then that finalizes my long-time theories and inferences

that

nothing lasts. and nothing can stand the test of time.

.

and i’ll see the world as an even darker place

where people meet only to part ways again

.

i’ll listen to their songs and feel like a huge chunk of my feelings was taken away

just like when sheila on 7 was missing anton and sakti.

.

sehangat pelukan hujan

saat kau lambaikan tangan

tenang wajahmu berbisik

inilah waktu yang tepat ‘tuk berpisah

.

we live.

Published April 16, 2010 by crystalights

 

how i vent:

  1. very loud music. regardless of genre/artiste/era.
  2. on my own.
  3. internal soundless monologue.
  4. teardrops on my bed.

.

blurred in my memories

the number of tears i’ve cried (my heart will dry)

are countless like the stars

.

it’s my phone inbox.

there were messages for the past 2 to 3 years back.

and i don’t know why i felt so weird when i remember being a couple of years younger and stupider (but happier).

but as time passes you can’t have the same things forever.

we live through our pain

and we move on.

.

so, yes. i hate my phone inbox.

but i can only hope that one day i can press that button that says “delete all messages” and really delete the past from my history.

because right now at this very moment

i don’t think i can.

so let me have this.

let me have this chance to wallow

’cause this hurts deeper than i thought it did

it has not healed with time

it just shut down my spine

i’m looking forward to dissappear soon.

please don’t stop yourself from leaving

all because of me.

please don’t let me be the one to hold you back from leaving

because everybody leaves

and i’ll always be the one left behind.

and no matter how much it kills me i will not make anyone stay

i will not allow myself to become the reason why anybody wasn’t where they wanted to be.

i will not keep you here just for me

i can’t be that girl who’s honest and truthful and asks for that one thing that she’s denied of

so i’ll be the girl who lies and says nothing of what she wishes for in the depths of her heart

:

:

S T A Y.     H E R E .    W I T H    M E. 

:

:

every single teardrops for one single thing.

.

.

:

.

.