pride and persistence

so i sent that message to you

because even after all that has happened all this time

i know that there are things that are more important than my self-assured pride

i should have known

that being the only one thinking that way

could mean being hurt more than what i’ve ever imagined

.

i think i understand

that sometimes some people find some things more difficult to give away

but some people gave them away anyway (no matter how difficult)

because giving is what you’ll eventually have to do

in order for you to receive

and what is more valuable than your selfish pride and egoistic perceptions

is something that you cannot create with your own hands

.

because you live in a big world, no matter how small it is

and you’re a small soul, no matter how big you dream

and you’re not entirely independent, no matter how much you believe that you are

you’re not above and beyond those whom you’ve known

you can’t bend the wind and move the earth at your will

you can’t even put a heart at your beck and call

perhaps not even your own heart

you are just another creation with the roles of which you are created for

so don’t

make me feel 

like i owe you the world

when i have believed

that all that i’m trying to do

was live up to that role

and this name

the reason of my return to the same road after all this

wasn’t for you or because of you

it was for that role and this name.

.

because underneath all the mess

someone’s got to do what they can to fix the damage

and i’m not sure if it will be you

so i guess

i’m gonna have to

do more than what i used to do

or what i would have done in my distant past

of which you were partly part of

but perhaps not as crystal as when we parted before our parting

.

 

i write like

 

so it turns out that i mostly write like : Cory Doctorow  

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

 

and also : J.D. Salinger.

I write like
J. D. Salinger

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

i tried it with several of my writings and the analysis showed that i write like Cory Doctorow (3 out of 6 tests) and J.D Salinger (twice).

the other writer that i write like is : Gertrude Stein.

so i spent what’s left of my afternoon on a search for their life stories and backgrounds.

i wanted to know if there is something there in common that is related to the way we write.

we have a 39 year old canadian man, a reclusive american man who passed away earlier this year and an american woman who was friends with picasso when she was alive (picasso drew a portrait of her in 1906).

.

Cory Doctorow’s “down and out in the magic kingdom” science fiction won the Locus Award for best first novel in 2004. yes, that was only his first novel, and a beginning to his other array of works and writings. he allows the sharing and distribution of his work as long as they’re for non-profit and non-commercial purposes, a.k.a “creative commons : some rights reserved” license.

.

J.D. Salinger wrote “the catcher in the rye”. “the catcher in the rye” was a development of “slight rebellion of madison” which was written almost 10 years before the former was published. he was still writing while he was in the army for WWII, and was then in contact with Ernest Hemingway. so after the war, “the catcher in the rye” was completed. but he rejected all attempts of securing the rights for this particular piece into the silverscreen and so even spielberg was turned down. owh and “the catcher in the rye” was banned in several countries because of how the story was told and what it was about, as a whole.

.

Gertrude Stein assembled a modern private gallery and was the mentor of ernest hemingway. she studied psychology, then embryology and was in med school for a while, before she moved on and wrote the autobiography of alice B. toklas which became a bestseller. alice was more than a friend.

.

cory was born on the 17th of July, the same month as me but mine was on the 10th (of July).

cory likes sharing his work openly. he blogs, writes, co-edits, and is a digital-copyright activist.

J.D liked writing but didn’t really enjoy the crowd and the whole extravaganza surrounding his published works.

there were some of his writings which he does not even wish to publish and that his love for writing was enough for him to stand by this.

gertrude was an influential advocator of the arts. her writings was known to be more in the sense of sound than the suitability of words.

her writings reflect her personality: bright, quirky, strong.

.

well

they’re all so very different.

how on earth was i ever writing like any of them?

.

owh and creds to wiki in the highlighted links.

it was a very enlightening afternoon.

.

of business and writing

 

mcmane nk ckp ye.

okay mcm ni.

i don’t think there’s any problem with people who generate income frm their blogs.

i think it’s up to them if they want to, and if they could do so.

itu terpulangla masing2.

rezeki kan masing2.

aku tak kisah.

tapi setakat ni aku bukan termasuk dikalangan org2 itu kot.

sbb stakat ni aku tak rse pun ke arah itu.

i’m not writing for money. for now.

maybe i would be writing for money, one day.

but for now, i don’t think so.

.

i don’t publish a blog just to get people to come and pay attention to the things that i advertise.

i don’t open up a blog just to get potential customers in the high traffic volume.

i’m not doing a business.

i’m just writing. like my life depends on it.

.

so.

if you want to do business through your blogs, then it’s up to you. it could be huge and profitable, it could be highly famous and sucessful.

but i don’t intend to get involved. (at least not now).

it’s not my business.

.

just like writing, i only write when i feel the need or purpose.

if i don’t have anything to write about, then i don’t write.

i don’t sit in front of the screen and force myself to word-vomit an entry.

i don’t feel the need for that.

.

so just do what you feel like you have to do as long as it doesn’t involve me.

.

photo credits to women unlimited